welcome to newton's first law in action - or more accurately, inaction. the momentum i had coursing through my body as the summer began has transmogrified into a disheartening lack of initiative. after morning prayers, i spent all day friday inside my house, accomplishing nothing, touching base with only a couple of friends, unmotivated, the very definition of a sluggard. and honestly, saturday holds little promise. i feared this would happen, my lack of concrete plans turning into an inability to make any plans. i pray this is simply an aberration, but at the moment it feels like anything but.
adding to my existential angst, my schedule for midsummer conflicts once again with house church, leading me to doubt whether it was wise to audition - or, more importantly, whether i am a fit leader for this house church. is it selfish for me to pursue my passion for theatre at the expense of my passion for the church? should i be denying myself, taking up my cross and following Him? is this something i'm meant to sacrifice? but then, as i experienced during my years in lansing, i'm sacrificing part of what makes me me. and i have a difficult time believing God wants me to become less than He created me to be. i refuse to fall into the trap that God's will only means doing those things we don't want to do.
and the voices of guilt come, shouting, "you're letting your church down! you're letting your friends down! you're letting God down!" and i find myself without an answer to them. it all sounds so shallow and self-serving: "but it's what I want to do. it brings ME joy and fulfillment." but if i only serve out of a sense of obligation, then that cannot please God, either. and leading a house church isn't a something i hate or despise - i only feel i'm not doing what a house church leader should do. complicating the matter, st. e's is in the process of birthing, of beginning one or two new house churches. we're looking at transitioning this summer - and i'll be off doing a play. what could be more selfish?
heh. i was hoping by writing out my dilemma it would help me make sense of it. but i only find myself more confused. and while i suppose i want feedback (why else would i post this in a public forum?), i fear the answers i might get, mostly because i assume what i desire - to do both - is impossible and that i'm going to have to choose one or the other. why must our desires conflict? and how do we choose when they do? and how have i not figured this out yet?
ok, time to go do....oh yeah, nothing.
Æ
Tunes: the sundays - wild horses
Saturday, June 17, 2006
Thursday, June 15, 2006
how quickly the morning steals away
i had so little planned for today. and that is exactly what i have accomplished so far.
who would have guessed the simple matter of naming objects would cause so much discussion. most comments i've ever had. thank goodness it was on something of such eternal consequence. anyway, after pondering and getting a sense of her, my new computer's name evermore shall be:
veronica
now we can move on to the more important issue: am i truly bonkers?
have at it.
spent the morning reading nt wright - have heard much about him, but never really read anything by him. found this website and read several of the articles compiled there. good, challenging stuff. especially liked his focus on imagination and creativity - folds in well with some of my own thoughts lately (which i may someday share here, if i can ever get them to stay still long enough). if you've never read him, you should. his views on christianity, the church, the world are refreshing.
other than that, i've done little else. need to go mow my lawn, i suppose, though i kind of like its rough and tumble look. my neighbors may not agree.
does it frighten anyone else that the best sound system i now have in my house is the one attached to my computer? seriously, it is amazing. the sound is only up 10% and i worry about my neighbors complaining. and i now can play my mp3 player (rory) through my computer, which has been great.
table talk tonight for the rude mechanicals. i have a good idea of bottom, but am curious to see what else will come out of this process. then afterwards i will head down to the-grill-formerly-known-as-hamburger-mary's to catch up with some chess friends. maybe do a little karaoke. make a little love. get down tonight.
bsg or mow...bsg or mow...bsg or mow...ah the eternal questions of summer.
thanks to all who commented yesterday - was great to know there are people out there using my meanderings to break up the monotony of their day. every little bit helps.
Æ
Tunes: elvis costello - veronica
who would have guessed the simple matter of naming objects would cause so much discussion. most comments i've ever had. thank goodness it was on something of such eternal consequence. anyway, after pondering and getting a sense of her, my new computer's name evermore shall be:
veronica
now we can move on to the more important issue: am i truly bonkers?
have at it.
spent the morning reading nt wright - have heard much about him, but never really read anything by him. found this website and read several of the articles compiled there. good, challenging stuff. especially liked his focus on imagination and creativity - folds in well with some of my own thoughts lately (which i may someday share here, if i can ever get them to stay still long enough). if you've never read him, you should. his views on christianity, the church, the world are refreshing.
other than that, i've done little else. need to go mow my lawn, i suppose, though i kind of like its rough and tumble look. my neighbors may not agree.
does it frighten anyone else that the best sound system i now have in my house is the one attached to my computer? seriously, it is amazing. the sound is only up 10% and i worry about my neighbors complaining. and i now can play my mp3 player (rory) through my computer, which has been great.
table talk tonight for the rude mechanicals. i have a good idea of bottom, but am curious to see what else will come out of this process. then afterwards i will head down to the-grill-formerly-known-as-hamburger-mary's to catch up with some chess friends. maybe do a little karaoke. make a little love. get down tonight.
bsg or mow...bsg or mow...bsg or mow...ah the eternal questions of summer.
thanks to all who commented yesterday - was great to know there are people out there using my meanderings to break up the monotony of their day. every little bit helps.
Æ
Tunes: elvis costello - veronica
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
the naming of things
i have what some have called an odd quirk (well, i have many of those, but i want to focus on just one for now). i tend to personify my inanimate objects by giving them names. it all started when i bought my trombone way back. i was at the height of my cyrano obsession, so it was an obvious choice - roxane. from then on, it only seemed natural to name these objects that hold meaning to me. and usually they are allusions to something literary or cinematic. my first car was heather (highlander), my second, guinevere (duh), my mazda, lorelei (gilmore girls); my electric bass, gretchen (king's x); my acoustic bass, daphne (greek mythology); my bike, celine (before sunrise); my tree, jarnsaxa (norse mythology).
those who notice such things will recognize all the names are female. those who like to psychoanalyze can discuss whether i have an unconscious need to possess women. or whether i use the naming as a way to surround myself with metaphorical women since i cannot seem to have a relationship of my own. or perhaps it is my attempt to particularize the feminine side of my personality, to find it in these objects i hold dear. yet again, it might be my way of sublimating my desire to have a daughter by making these beloved objects like offspring. trust me, i'm a therapists dream.
now since i bought my first computer back in 1996, they have always been known as karla, drawing from coupland's microserfs for inspiration. but now, ten years later, perhaps it's time to break from tradition and find a new name. my friend brent recommended scheherazade, which i like from a literary standpoint, but it doesn't really fit this beautiful piece of technology in front of me. i toyed with kaitlin, the female techie from coupland's latest jpod. but it feels a bit like i'm cheating. i'm quite drawn to titania for obvious reasons; plus, it fits the sleek look of the computer.
so, anyone have thoughts? ideas? comment if you would like.
Æ
Tunes: green day - holiday
those who notice such things will recognize all the names are female. those who like to psychoanalyze can discuss whether i have an unconscious need to possess women. or whether i use the naming as a way to surround myself with metaphorical women since i cannot seem to have a relationship of my own. or perhaps it is my attempt to particularize the feminine side of my personality, to find it in these objects i hold dear. yet again, it might be my way of sublimating my desire to have a daughter by making these beloved objects like offspring. trust me, i'm a therapists dream.
now since i bought my first computer back in 1996, they have always been known as karla, drawing from coupland's microserfs for inspiration. but now, ten years later, perhaps it's time to break from tradition and find a new name. my friend brent recommended scheherazade, which i like from a literary standpoint, but it doesn't really fit this beautiful piece of technology in front of me. i toyed with kaitlin, the female techie from coupland's latest jpod. but it feels a bit like i'm cheating. i'm quite drawn to titania for obvious reasons; plus, it fits the sleek look of the computer.
so, anyone have thoughts? ideas? comment if you would like.
Æ
Tunes: green day - holiday
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
waiting....
my new computer is scheduled to arrive sometime between 10:30 and 200 today. and as i am paranoid, methinks i'm going to sit outside on my porch and wait - don't want to have to depend on a doorbell. paranoia is a wonderful thing.
no swimming today - didn't get to bed until almost 2:00 and it seemed unwise to get up and swim at 6:00. of course, i was awake - stupid brain/body will not let me sleep. i'm going to have to do something about this - if i continue in this pattern, my summer will be painfully instead of joyfully long. did make it to prayers, though no one was there at 7:00. sandie showed up, as did kendra, but the prayer books were gone and we couldn't find them anywhere in the church or the brownhouse or the convent. so we improvised and used the eastertide books. obviously we didn't get the message that prayers had moved or changed for the week. was a good time, though and i'm grateful i went. excellent, focusing way to start the day.
toyed with apologizing for the emotional ketchup burst last night about weddings. but then what's the point? if you're reading this, hopefully you get that i occasionally wander the melancholy streets of life. and if you don't, well, know that i occasionally wander the melancholy streets of life. and always keep this in mind: things in thurmanworld are never as bad as they may appear here on my blog. really. i have an amazing life, peppered periodically with random moments of melancholia. you get used to it.
ok, off to read some more of greenblatt's book outside on the porch. here's hoping my new computer arrives sooner than later....
Æ
Tunes: stars - your ex-lover is dead
no swimming today - didn't get to bed until almost 2:00 and it seemed unwise to get up and swim at 6:00. of course, i was awake - stupid brain/body will not let me sleep. i'm going to have to do something about this - if i continue in this pattern, my summer will be painfully instead of joyfully long. did make it to prayers, though no one was there at 7:00. sandie showed up, as did kendra, but the prayer books were gone and we couldn't find them anywhere in the church or the brownhouse or the convent. so we improvised and used the eastertide books. obviously we didn't get the message that prayers had moved or changed for the week. was a good time, though and i'm grateful i went. excellent, focusing way to start the day.
toyed with apologizing for the emotional ketchup burst last night about weddings. but then what's the point? if you're reading this, hopefully you get that i occasionally wander the melancholy streets of life. and if you don't, well, know that i occasionally wander the melancholy streets of life. and always keep this in mind: things in thurmanworld are never as bad as they may appear here on my blog. really. i have an amazing life, peppered periodically with random moments of melancholia. you get used to it.
ok, off to read some more of greenblatt's book outside on the porch. here's hoping my new computer arrives sooner than later....
Æ
Tunes: stars - your ex-lover is dead
Monday, June 12, 2006
twenty-seven hours
this is the amount of time i spent in a motor vehicle this weekend. just in case you were wondering. 'twas quite the whirlwind weekend - up at 6:00am, out the door by 7:00, in lansing by 11:15 (yes, i *ahem* made good time), el azteco by 11:30, to josh and emily's for the afternoon, the wedding at 5:30, then on the road to upstate ny by 10:00pm. two hours to the border, six hours through canada, one hour to the beach. five hours at the races, then back on the road. stopped in toronto for a spur-of-the-moment dinner with kat. back to lansing by 10:30pm. slept, then back on the road again this morning by 8:00. home by 12:45.
yes, i am that crazy.
the weekend was wonderful - good to spend some time with gary. fun, too, to catch up with some folks i had lost touch with - josh and emily, jacob, the hirns. the wedding itself was unremarkable - the usual rituals, no crazy moments, no horrible homilies. yet i found my mind wandering a bit, found myself wishing, strangely enough, that i could be in gary's shoes, watching my own daughter get married. this is a sign i'm getting old, isn't it - now, instead of thinking about my own wedding, i wonder what it would be like to stand at my daughter's wedding. and i caught myself despairing that i won't ever see that day.
ah. i don't want to talk about that.
i was giddy most of the weekend - still quite excited about playing bottom. i had meant to bring my bill with me, but forgot it at home. no matter as i'm sure there are plenty of cuts and no use doing anything until i see them. i know i have a lot of work ahead of me and a lot of responsibility but, if all goes well, i know it will be worth it. first read through is tomorrow night. can't wait to meet the rest of the cast. i know rhonda's playing puck, but beyond that, i've got nothing. guess i'll find out tomorrow.
well, my new computer arrived this morning. unfortunately, i wasn't here, so they just left a note on my door. *sigh* so i'll wait until tomorrow to get it all set up. even more to be excited about. at least i'll be able to keep myself busy. am hoping to get up tomorrow morning, swim, pray, then wait around. the note said it should be delivered between 10:30 and 2:00 - here's hoping it's earlier than later. i did get the pc essentials suite i ordered, so i can get karla set up for the big transfer. probably will have to delete some stuff to get the program to load - i am completely filled. of course, at the moment i'm not tired at all, so i may do some of that once i'm done here. really, i hope i get this sleep thing figured out before summer is over....
seems to me i have lots of things to share, but none seem to be accessible to my brain at the moment. i blame lack of sleep. hopefully i'll be more on track tomorrow.
Æ
Tunes: suzanne vega - caramel
yes, i am that crazy.
the weekend was wonderful - good to spend some time with gary. fun, too, to catch up with some folks i had lost touch with - josh and emily, jacob, the hirns. the wedding itself was unremarkable - the usual rituals, no crazy moments, no horrible homilies. yet i found my mind wandering a bit, found myself wishing, strangely enough, that i could be in gary's shoes, watching my own daughter get married. this is a sign i'm getting old, isn't it - now, instead of thinking about my own wedding, i wonder what it would be like to stand at my daughter's wedding. and i caught myself despairing that i won't ever see that day.
ah. i don't want to talk about that.
i was giddy most of the weekend - still quite excited about playing bottom. i had meant to bring my bill with me, but forgot it at home. no matter as i'm sure there are plenty of cuts and no use doing anything until i see them. i know i have a lot of work ahead of me and a lot of responsibility but, if all goes well, i know it will be worth it. first read through is tomorrow night. can't wait to meet the rest of the cast. i know rhonda's playing puck, but beyond that, i've got nothing. guess i'll find out tomorrow.
well, my new computer arrived this morning. unfortunately, i wasn't here, so they just left a note on my door. *sigh* so i'll wait until tomorrow to get it all set up. even more to be excited about. at least i'll be able to keep myself busy. am hoping to get up tomorrow morning, swim, pray, then wait around. the note said it should be delivered between 10:30 and 2:00 - here's hoping it's earlier than later. i did get the pc essentials suite i ordered, so i can get karla set up for the big transfer. probably will have to delete some stuff to get the program to load - i am completely filled. of course, at the moment i'm not tired at all, so i may do some of that once i'm done here. really, i hope i get this sleep thing figured out before summer is over....
seems to me i have lots of things to share, but none seem to be accessible to my brain at the moment. i blame lack of sleep. hopefully i'll be more on track tomorrow.
Æ
Tunes: suzanne vega - caramel
Saturday, June 10, 2006
newsflash!
"I have had a most rare vision. I have had a dream, past the wit of man to say what dream it was: man is but an ass, if he go about to expound this dream."
let the ass jokes begin - i shall be playing nick bottom in shakespeare in sharonville's production of midsummer night's dream.
clear your calendars, first two weeks of august.
more when i return from my roadtrip.
Æ
let the ass jokes begin - i shall be playing nick bottom in shakespeare in sharonville's production of midsummer night's dream.
clear your calendars, first two weeks of august.
more when i return from my roadtrip.
Æ
next stop: lansing
so should be in bed. not that it's really going to matter since i probably won't sleep more than four hours anyway. i'm not sure why i'm not sleeping, i only know i'm not. which means my trip to lansing could be quite the long one tomorrow....
just returned from seeing X3. bleah. the director just didn't get it. the writers were hacks. the performances were phone in. not quite highlander 2 realm, but there were moments it came awfully close. convinces me of the power of a good director - when the director gets it, it makes all the difference in the world. ah well, at least i have the first two.
had my "date" tonight with jessica. why in quotes? not sure - really was simply dinner at dewey's as she had previous plans. how'd it go, you ask? 'twas much like sunday's meeting - pleasant enough, but a bit strained. honestly, i just don't think she's interested. and this isn't my usual, why-would-anyone-like-me crap. there's nothing there. gina mentioned perhaps she is interested, but is too shy. possibly. unfortunately, i basically need a big neon sign and a smack upside the head for me to "get it," so i'm not too hopeful.
actually at the moment i'm bordering on hopelessness. but it will pass.
callbacks for midsummer are tomorrow, which means i should find out what part i got tomorrow or sunday. again, trying not to get my hopes up too high and i'll have a good time regardless of the part i get. but the dream is to do bottom, which i know i could nail. but it's out of my hands at this point.
as mr. petty sings in the background....
did i mention i should be going to bed and/or packing for tomorrow? but no, here i am, filling cyberspace with my meaningless meandering musing. yes, i like my alliteration.
there's something important inside of me wanting to come out, but it can't seem to do it right now. i know i can't only have these shallow thoughts to share. i can't. but it's all that seems to be coming up at the moment.
seriously, i need to go. i have to be on the road before 7:00 so i can get to lansing in time to enjoy me some el azteco before the wedding. so looking forward to those chips and salsa and those enchiladas. hmmmmm. been too long.
oh yeah, and seeing gary again. and whomever else might show up. haven't really given it much thought, but i at least hope to see josh and emily again. nto sure what other spectres from youth groups past might appear. fun.
ok, just checked the shipping status of my new computer and it looks like it left lexington at 12:26 am. see, this is what i was afraid of. it'll probably show up on my doorstep while i am gone in lansing. i gave gina a key and asked her to drive by, just in case it does get here. would be nice to have it waiting for me when i get back, but would also be nice to not have it stolen from my porch while i'm gone. i think i'm safe - my guess is it shows up on monday, which is still earlier than i thought it would arrive.
sorry, i'm starting to geek out a bit.
yeah, yeah, i know, i'm going to go pack now. i'll update when i get back from michigan/ny state.
Æ
Tunes: josh ritter - thin blue flame
just returned from seeing X3. bleah. the director just didn't get it. the writers were hacks. the performances were phone in. not quite highlander 2 realm, but there were moments it came awfully close. convinces me of the power of a good director - when the director gets it, it makes all the difference in the world. ah well, at least i have the first two.
had my "date" tonight with jessica. why in quotes? not sure - really was simply dinner at dewey's as she had previous plans. how'd it go, you ask? 'twas much like sunday's meeting - pleasant enough, but a bit strained. honestly, i just don't think she's interested. and this isn't my usual, why-would-anyone-like-me crap. there's nothing there. gina mentioned perhaps she is interested, but is too shy. possibly. unfortunately, i basically need a big neon sign and a smack upside the head for me to "get it," so i'm not too hopeful.
actually at the moment i'm bordering on hopelessness. but it will pass.
callbacks for midsummer are tomorrow, which means i should find out what part i got tomorrow or sunday. again, trying not to get my hopes up too high and i'll have a good time regardless of the part i get. but the dream is to do bottom, which i know i could nail. but it's out of my hands at this point.
as mr. petty sings in the background....
did i mention i should be going to bed and/or packing for tomorrow? but no, here i am, filling cyberspace with my meaningless meandering musing. yes, i like my alliteration.
there's something important inside of me wanting to come out, but it can't seem to do it right now. i know i can't only have these shallow thoughts to share. i can't. but it's all that seems to be coming up at the moment.
seriously, i need to go. i have to be on the road before 7:00 so i can get to lansing in time to enjoy me some el azteco before the wedding. so looking forward to those chips and salsa and those enchiladas. hmmmmm. been too long.
oh yeah, and seeing gary again. and whomever else might show up. haven't really given it much thought, but i at least hope to see josh and emily again. nto sure what other spectres from youth groups past might appear. fun.
ok, just checked the shipping status of my new computer and it looks like it left lexington at 12:26 am. see, this is what i was afraid of. it'll probably show up on my doorstep while i am gone in lansing. i gave gina a key and asked her to drive by, just in case it does get here. would be nice to have it waiting for me when i get back, but would also be nice to not have it stolen from my porch while i'm gone. i think i'm safe - my guess is it shows up on monday, which is still earlier than i thought it would arrive.
sorry, i'm starting to geek out a bit.
yeah, yeah, i know, i'm going to go pack now. i'll update when i get back from michigan/ny state.
Æ
Tunes: josh ritter - thin blue flame
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
working for a living
well, for some extra spending cash, anyway. yep, at the auditorium again, this time babysitting acting up!'s production of honk jr. haven't had the courage to watch any of it - too occupied writing e-mails and reading greenblatt's will in the world which was kindly left on my doorstep last night by lori. nothing like a little shakespeare to suck me in. quite entertaining.
so this weekend just got a bit more interesting - gary, whose daughter's wedding i am driving to in lansing, wrote and wondered if i might be able to join him for a nine-hour road trip to help his other daughter keep her ranking as the point leader in jet-ski racing. yeah, i know. anyway, looks like we would leave after the wedding saturday night and return sunday night or monday. and as i have...wait, let me check...nothing going on, i told him it would be great. might even curb my craving for a road trip, at least for a bit. good thing my priceline bid failed for the hotel room - if we're leaving saturday night, no need to get a room.
been avoiding any deep thinking lately, so i have no great insights to share with you, my faithful readers. i could wax eloquently about the whole gay marriage amendment, but really, what would be the point? haven't heard back from ryan about the whole emergent church, so no go there. plus, i'm not sure i could articulate what i think at this moment anyway. i do wonder sometimes if once school is out if my IQ suddenly drops several points. i call it going into conservation mode. others call it laziness. history will prove who's right.
the great swimming experiment is going well - been able to pull myself out of bed every morning this week and get a few laps in. had to adjust my schedule a bit since they moved morning prayers to 7:30 (which explains why no one was there monday and tuesday when i showed up at 7:00). not sure the wisdom in getting up at 6:00am and i'm not sure how long i'll be able to do it, but for now it's a good way to start the morning - a quick swim, prayers, breakfast.
sorry to inflict on you the tedium of my vacation-life.
tomorrow i'll be doing a bit of domestic work - cleaning up around the house. since it's official that i'm getting a new computer, i need to make sure my space is ready to go for its eventual arrival. will at least keep me busy for part of the day and keep me from wasting away in front of the tv watching BSG seasons 1-2 (yes![[info]](https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/blogger_img_proxy/AEn0k_uSFw4-T3wLtFBsEr9XW1O0nQQJ0GJ5bVSygekzXqgMYV_AYgA34GegWukdOu7EsFrf-7edB3t-8JbAoEvQnkPmpuJSQStaHZmjZjMciH5j=s0-d)
ellescriba i watched the miniseries last night. we'll have to talk).
wow. i've bored my fingers into slumberland. time to go. sorry.
Æ
so this weekend just got a bit more interesting - gary, whose daughter's wedding i am driving to in lansing, wrote and wondered if i might be able to join him for a nine-hour road trip to help his other daughter keep her ranking as the point leader in jet-ski racing. yeah, i know. anyway, looks like we would leave after the wedding saturday night and return sunday night or monday. and as i have...wait, let me check...nothing going on, i told him it would be great. might even curb my craving for a road trip, at least for a bit. good thing my priceline bid failed for the hotel room - if we're leaving saturday night, no need to get a room.
been avoiding any deep thinking lately, so i have no great insights to share with you, my faithful readers. i could wax eloquently about the whole gay marriage amendment, but really, what would be the point? haven't heard back from ryan about the whole emergent church, so no go there. plus, i'm not sure i could articulate what i think at this moment anyway. i do wonder sometimes if once school is out if my IQ suddenly drops several points. i call it going into conservation mode. others call it laziness. history will prove who's right.
the great swimming experiment is going well - been able to pull myself out of bed every morning this week and get a few laps in. had to adjust my schedule a bit since they moved morning prayers to 7:30 (which explains why no one was there monday and tuesday when i showed up at 7:00). not sure the wisdom in getting up at 6:00am and i'm not sure how long i'll be able to do it, but for now it's a good way to start the morning - a quick swim, prayers, breakfast.
sorry to inflict on you the tedium of my vacation-life.
tomorrow i'll be doing a bit of domestic work - cleaning up around the house. since it's official that i'm getting a new computer, i need to make sure my space is ready to go for its eventual arrival. will at least keep me busy for part of the day and keep me from wasting away in front of the tv watching BSG seasons 1-2 (yes
ellescriba i watched the miniseries last night. we'll have to talk).wow. i've bored my fingers into slumberland. time to go. sorry.
Æ
Tunes: death cab for cutie - marching bands of manhattan
Monday, June 05, 2006
anatomy of a set up
first, the preliminaries - i almost didn't go. drove the four hours back from weirton sunday morning and made good enough time that i figured i'd take a short nap. mistake. didn't sleep much and it just made me grouchy. not the best of moods if you're going to meet someone. add to that major wardrobe crisis mere minutes before leaving, and i was a bundle full of fun on the way to the wedding. horrible frame of mind. had i not promised, i would have just stayed home. but i went, met bea at starbucks, drove to meg's then to the wedding.
the wedding itself was lovely - simple, straightforward and very, very crowded. beth knows everyone. there were TEN bridesmaids and TEN groomsmen. just a bit of overkill, but who am i to judge. oh right, someone who's been to far too many of these things. anway, i spent much of the service scanning the crowd looking for jessica. now i didn't know much about her - artist and relatively young. beyond that, nothing. beth was just a bit vague in descriptions. didn't see anyone who matched my preconceptions. so when we finally were dismissed (you know, there's no good way to do this - especially if you're stuck at the back waiting waiting waiting), beth leaned over and said she was in the back on the left in a blue dress. so i looked on my way out. didn't see anyone matching that description. not good.
so we head over to the reception (they had rented out ault park - beth's parents are not poor) and i had pretty much given up hope. i was in a bad mood, i didn't know who jessica was, beth was busy doing bridey stuff, so i was ready to write the afternoon off. then we went to talk to annie, who i had forgotten had actually me the mysterious jessica at a bridal shower. and it was through her i actually was introduced.
first impressions: not at all what i expected. much quieter and subdued - more the contemplative artist than the wild and crazy artist. she was wearing a bluish dress, which is why i didn't find her earlier - i was looking for solid blue, this was more of a patterned dress. we joked early on about beth's pushiness and then she joined us at the table we had commandeered when we arrived.
(aside: i got to spend the day with three beautiful women - meg, bea, kelley. i must have looked like quite the stud sitting at a table, the only guy among all the lovely women. sure, they're all taken, but 'twas fun nonetheless)
we talked, chatted, asked questions - all those things you do during a set up, trying to separate the preconceptions from the truth. and as we talked i came to a startling conclusion...
she's me. in many ways.
not sure how i feel about that. we're both strong introverts, evidenced by the lengthy gaps in conversation at times. we both have elitist tendencies (hers certainly can't be as annoying as mine, but i did get the sense). we both are uncomfortable in large groups and hate talking on the phone. and while it was great meeting someone who understood a lot of my quirks, there's part of me if it might not be too much of a familiar thing. but i'm withholding judgment for now, until we can get together again under less contrived circumstances (though aren't all "dates" contrived?).
so no, it wasn't the miserable experience i feared it might be on my drive there. was quite a pleasant experience. and while there were no fireworks or bolts of lightning, it was a fine way to spend an afternoon/early evening. and we'll see what comes next.
Æ
Tunes: over the rhine - my love is a fever (acoustic)
the wedding itself was lovely - simple, straightforward and very, very crowded. beth knows everyone. there were TEN bridesmaids and TEN groomsmen. just a bit of overkill, but who am i to judge. oh right, someone who's been to far too many of these things. anway, i spent much of the service scanning the crowd looking for jessica. now i didn't know much about her - artist and relatively young. beyond that, nothing. beth was just a bit vague in descriptions. didn't see anyone who matched my preconceptions. so when we finally were dismissed (you know, there's no good way to do this - especially if you're stuck at the back waiting waiting waiting), beth leaned over and said she was in the back on the left in a blue dress. so i looked on my way out. didn't see anyone matching that description. not good.
so we head over to the reception (they had rented out ault park - beth's parents are not poor) and i had pretty much given up hope. i was in a bad mood, i didn't know who jessica was, beth was busy doing bridey stuff, so i was ready to write the afternoon off. then we went to talk to annie, who i had forgotten had actually me the mysterious jessica at a bridal shower. and it was through her i actually was introduced.
first impressions: not at all what i expected. much quieter and subdued - more the contemplative artist than the wild and crazy artist. she was wearing a bluish dress, which is why i didn't find her earlier - i was looking for solid blue, this was more of a patterned dress. we joked early on about beth's pushiness and then she joined us at the table we had commandeered when we arrived.
(aside: i got to spend the day with three beautiful women - meg, bea, kelley. i must have looked like quite the stud sitting at a table, the only guy among all the lovely women. sure, they're all taken, but 'twas fun nonetheless)
we talked, chatted, asked questions - all those things you do during a set up, trying to separate the preconceptions from the truth. and as we talked i came to a startling conclusion...
she's me. in many ways.
not sure how i feel about that. we're both strong introverts, evidenced by the lengthy gaps in conversation at times. we both have elitist tendencies (hers certainly can't be as annoying as mine, but i did get the sense). we both are uncomfortable in large groups and hate talking on the phone. and while it was great meeting someone who understood a lot of my quirks, there's part of me if it might not be too much of a familiar thing. but i'm withholding judgment for now, until we can get together again under less contrived circumstances (though aren't all "dates" contrived?).
so no, it wasn't the miserable experience i feared it might be on my drive there. was quite a pleasant experience. and while there were no fireworks or bolts of lightning, it was a fine way to spend an afternoon/early evening. and we'll see what comes next.
Æ
Tunes: over the rhine - my love is a fever (acoustic)
let's do this
monday morning. woke around 6:00am - much earlier than i want to. but i figure it will take at least a week to shift out of my school schedule. of course with my sleeping record, who knows what will happen. wandered to st. e's for morning prayer, but alas, no one was there, which leads me to believe it may have been next door at the brownhouse, but by the time i figure it out, 'twas too late, so i prayed a bit on my own, then wandered down to the Y to begin what i hope will become a morning ritual this summer. i swam for about 30-40 minutes, then walked back home. felt good being active, though i've definitely lost my cardio ability. drawbacks of growing old. heading over to the barr's to help get their new sofa/sleeper into the house - ran into dave on the way home from the Y.
those of you looking for a recap of my wedding experience, be patient. i'm working up to it.
i'm going to hate this week. auditioned friday for midsummer and now i have to wait until friday at the earliest to hear what part i got. i REALLY want bottom, but i'm not sure i sold it in my audition. trying not to get my hopes up too high, but it's hard. such a great role. i should have done more prep. i had the whole character in my head, but needed to focus more on bottom's "acting." ah well, it's over now and i just have to wait. and wait. and wait.
the quickie road trip to see brent went well. good driving both ways (which basically means few annoying drivers - the benefit of leaving before 8am) and we had a good time. seems ikea has discontinued the bed frame i was going to buy, so i'll have to look elsewhere. did finally score my STEELERS SUPER BOWL CHAMPIONS long sleeve t-shirt. was going to get the "got rings?" shirt, but forgot to bring cash with me. brent said he would pick it up for me, though. figured it would be appropriate to wear here in cincy - nothing like a little dig.... we also watched reefer madness, which was quite entertaining. fun watching kristen bell sing and dance - i'm waiting for the big musical number on veronica mars soon. there's a great song called romeo and juliet all about shakespeare. hilarious. would be fun to play for my classes when we do good old bill. also want to think about dropping references to the film since i get the feeling many of them have seen it, at least certain ones anyway.
moment of panic this morning....sat down last week and priced out a new computer. spent time figuring out how i would pay for it. went back today, pulled up my wish list....and it was gone. lovely. so i used dell's chat feature and was directed back to the page and "rebuilt" the computer i want. should only cost $737, which i can certainly do. think i have everything i need with it, too. will probably order it tomorrow, since my mortgage payment went out today and i get paid tomorrow. be nice to have the upgrade. be nice to have a monitor that i can actually see pictures on (wow, was that a horribly constructed sentence).
ah, will you look at that? time for me to go help dave. and after that i think i'm going to go ride my bike. so i guess my reflections on the wedding will have to wait. probably need to think about it some more anyway.....
Æ
Tunes: old 97's - wish the worst
those of you looking for a recap of my wedding experience, be patient. i'm working up to it.
i'm going to hate this week. auditioned friday for midsummer and now i have to wait until friday at the earliest to hear what part i got. i REALLY want bottom, but i'm not sure i sold it in my audition. trying not to get my hopes up too high, but it's hard. such a great role. i should have done more prep. i had the whole character in my head, but needed to focus more on bottom's "acting." ah well, it's over now and i just have to wait. and wait. and wait.
the quickie road trip to see brent went well. good driving both ways (which basically means few annoying drivers - the benefit of leaving before 8am) and we had a good time. seems ikea has discontinued the bed frame i was going to buy, so i'll have to look elsewhere. did finally score my STEELERS SUPER BOWL CHAMPIONS long sleeve t-shirt. was going to get the "got rings?" shirt, but forgot to bring cash with me. brent said he would pick it up for me, though. figured it would be appropriate to wear here in cincy - nothing like a little dig.... we also watched reefer madness, which was quite entertaining. fun watching kristen bell sing and dance - i'm waiting for the big musical number on veronica mars soon. there's a great song called romeo and juliet all about shakespeare. hilarious. would be fun to play for my classes when we do good old bill. also want to think about dropping references to the film since i get the feeling many of them have seen it, at least certain ones anyway.
moment of panic this morning....sat down last week and priced out a new computer. spent time figuring out how i would pay for it. went back today, pulled up my wish list....and it was gone. lovely. so i used dell's chat feature and was directed back to the page and "rebuilt" the computer i want. should only cost $737, which i can certainly do. think i have everything i need with it, too. will probably order it tomorrow, since my mortgage payment went out today and i get paid tomorrow. be nice to have the upgrade. be nice to have a monitor that i can actually see pictures on (wow, was that a horribly constructed sentence).
ah, will you look at that? time for me to go help dave. and after that i think i'm going to go ride my bike. so i guess my reflections on the wedding will have to wait. probably need to think about it some more anyway.....
Æ
Tunes: old 97's - wish the worst
Friday, June 02, 2006
REMEMBER me when I am gone away,
Gone far away into the silent land;
When you can no more hold me by the hand,
Nor I half turn to go, yet turning stay.
Remember me when no more day by day
You tell me of our future that you plann'd:
Only remember me; you understand
It will be late to counsel then or pray.
Yet if you should forget me for a while
And afterwards remember, do not grieve:
For if the darkness and corruption leave
A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,
Better by far you should forget and smile
Than that you should remember and be sad.
Christina Rossetti
Gone far away into the silent land;
When you can no more hold me by the hand,
Nor I half turn to go, yet turning stay.
Remember me when no more day by day
You tell me of our future that you plann'd:
Only remember me; you understand
It will be late to counsel then or pray.
Yet if you should forget me for a while
And afterwards remember, do not grieve:
For if the darkness and corruption leave
A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,
Better by far you should forget and smile
Than that you should remember and be sad.
Christina Rossetti
Thursday, June 01, 2006
leaping before looking
just responded to a post from my friend ryan's blog
http://1-peach-2-peach.livejournal.com/50569.html
now that school is (nearly) over, i'll have much more time for conversations like this one. at least i hope it turns into a conversation.
let's see....exams given? check. exams graded? check. grades entered into the gradebook? check. grades uploaded to edline to give students a chance to complain before i make it official? check. looking forward to tomorrow being the last day i have to get up at 5AM for three months? check.
feels great to be a teacher right now.
busy busy busy tomorrow. school/end of the year breakfast tomorrow at 7:30. getting all checked out, hopefully by 11:30, earlier if i can pull my butt out of bed (we're contractually obligated to be there for four hours tomorrow and can leave once that's done). then, weather-cooperating, i'll head to the island for my first beast fix of the season. maybe a couple. then home to prepare for my audition at 5:00ish. then to the fox and hound for some post-school-year reveling. looking forward to some good, unhealthy fried appetizers and an adult beverage or two (probably just one, knowing my cheap ways). then to bed so i can get up early to drive up to weirton/pittsburgh saturday morning. nothing like hitting my summer vacation running.
things i NEED to do in the next week....
things i'd LIKE to do in the next week....
time to do a bit of reading. relaxing. last school night for a while. and all the teachers say, "amen."
Æ
Tunes: suzanne vega - the queen and the soldier
http://1-peach-2-peach.livejournal.com/50569.html
now that school is (nearly) over, i'll have much more time for conversations like this one. at least i hope it turns into a conversation.
let's see....exams given? check. exams graded? check. grades entered into the gradebook? check. grades uploaded to edline to give students a chance to complain before i make it official? check. looking forward to tomorrow being the last day i have to get up at 5AM for three months? check.
feels great to be a teacher right now.
busy busy busy tomorrow. school/end of the year breakfast tomorrow at 7:30. getting all checked out, hopefully by 11:30, earlier if i can pull my butt out of bed (we're contractually obligated to be there for four hours tomorrow and can leave once that's done). then, weather-cooperating, i'll head to the island for my first beast fix of the season. maybe a couple. then home to prepare for my audition at 5:00ish. then to the fox and hound for some post-school-year reveling. looking forward to some good, unhealthy fried appetizers and an adult beverage or two (probably just one, knowing my cheap ways). then to bed so i can get up early to drive up to weirton/pittsburgh saturday morning. nothing like hitting my summer vacation running.
things i NEED to do in the next week....
- call for an eye appointment (i am out of contacts and it's been two years since my last checkup)
- call a tree guy to get jarnsaxa healthy
- figure out financing for getting jarnsaxa healthy
- figure out financing for a new computer
- make a list of house-related projects for the summer
- start going to morning prayers
- sleep. a lot.
things i'd LIKE to do in the next week....
- do a little volunteering at the fringe festival
- get on my bike and ride
- get off my butt and use the Y membership i've had for five months but never used
- figure out some kind of road trip for this summer
- meet the love of my life
- sleep. a lot.
time to do a bit of reading. relaxing. last school night for a while. and all the teachers say, "amen."
Æ
Tunes: suzanne vega - the queen and the soldier
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
down to two
can someone please tell me why none of the media players i have on my computer allow me to play songs from my mp3 player?
thanks.
first day of exams went smoothly - only one exam, so i spent the extra time tearing down my room, getting everything put away for the summer, packing up books, etc. mostly done with that, which means tomorrow i just have to give my exams and then grade them, which hopefully i'll finish before i leave the school tomorrow. my exam is way too easy, but then most of the evaluation over this stuff was done during the trimester - seriously, if i wasn't required to give an exam i so wouldn't. such a waste. yet given such importance in our school. ah well, 'twill all be over by this time friday.
actually by this time friday i hope to be well into reveling at the fox and hound.
i've also decided to celebrate the end of classes by heading to KI and riding the beast a couple of times in celebration, before i head home to get ready for my midsummer audition. been rereading the play this week, and have a good idea of how i want to read the two characters i want most (bottom/puck). here's hoping it's what allen is looking for, too. i thought about asking him, but somehow that seemed like cheating. not sure why i feel that way - maybe i'm just trying to stay away from favoritism? or even the hint of favoritism? i know it's an unavoidable part of the process, but no use compounding the difficulties, right?
i got lazy this weekend and so am growing my beard back out. i'm in the stubbly wino phase right now - here's hoping it gets better by the time this weekend rolls around.
right...this weekend. heading to pittsburgh to visit brent and ikea. and pick up some steelers stuff since, oddly enough, i can't find any here in cincy. be a quick turnaround - probably less than 24 hours there. going to head up early saturday morning, come back sunday. sunday will be....interesting. see if you can follow this: my friend beth is getting married sunday afternoon. i, however, did not rate an invitation to the wedding. however, beth asked bea to invite me as her date, but not so much so bea has someone to go with but so i will be at the wedding so i can (finally, after months of prodding) meet beth's friend jessica, who is the "artistic coordinator" for beth's wedding. still with me? now from what i've been told, jessica is "perfect" for me. beth (jokingly, i hope) refers to her as my future wife, which was echoed by someone else who met her. even her future husband is actually excited about this meeting.
no pressure or anything.
i'm not opposed to being set up, though it has only happened a handful of times in my life, probably because i give off that "i'm comfortable being single" vibe (that's the explanation i'm sticking with anyway. i don't like the other options....). and if nothing else, it will be fun to meet someone. i'm a bit guarded, though, trying not to get my hopes up too high. the comfort of the pessimist - keep the threat of being disappointed to a minimum. but who knows what will happen.
curious collision: last night on a whim i met bea and went to see friends with money (sorry gina. just kind of happened). the movie rang "true" - the characters seemed real and not mere tools to be used by the director/writer. and the cast was wonderful, especially ms. mcdormand - hilarious. anyway, joan's character raised a question i've pondered myself before - do i have friends who are friends just because i met them at the right time? that if i met them earlier or later in my life, we would never have become friends? it's all about timing, right? anyway, bea and i were talking about this after the movie and i mentioned my friend jennifer - the doctor i've known since we were in grade school. our lives are quite different from the ones we shared while we were growing up and last time i saw her, i wondered if we met at a party or a club now whether we would even have much of a conversation. now, i haven't heard from jennifer since last time i was nyc, which is what, two years ago now? three? and she's moved to florida and gotten married since. i've sent out a couple of e-mails, but nothing, which made me sad because she's one of my oldest friends and i would hate to lose touch. anyway, i opened my e-mail today and there waiting was a change of e-mail address from her. again, timing. so i'll be writing her again and hopefully she'll respond this time. keep your fingers crossed.
spew spew spew.
ok, i have e-mails to write and a poem idea to get down. the year is almost done. and as i mentioned last night at house church, i'm looking forward to taking some time to gather the scattered pieces of my life and seeing what they look like now. who knows, maybe it will be a whole new picture....
Æ
Tunes: rush - ceiling unlimited
thanks.
first day of exams went smoothly - only one exam, so i spent the extra time tearing down my room, getting everything put away for the summer, packing up books, etc. mostly done with that, which means tomorrow i just have to give my exams and then grade them, which hopefully i'll finish before i leave the school tomorrow. my exam is way too easy, but then most of the evaluation over this stuff was done during the trimester - seriously, if i wasn't required to give an exam i so wouldn't. such a waste. yet given such importance in our school. ah well, 'twill all be over by this time friday.
actually by this time friday i hope to be well into reveling at the fox and hound.
i've also decided to celebrate the end of classes by heading to KI and riding the beast a couple of times in celebration, before i head home to get ready for my midsummer audition. been rereading the play this week, and have a good idea of how i want to read the two characters i want most (bottom/puck). here's hoping it's what allen is looking for, too. i thought about asking him, but somehow that seemed like cheating. not sure why i feel that way - maybe i'm just trying to stay away from favoritism? or even the hint of favoritism? i know it's an unavoidable part of the process, but no use compounding the difficulties, right?
i got lazy this weekend and so am growing my beard back out. i'm in the stubbly wino phase right now - here's hoping it gets better by the time this weekend rolls around.
right...this weekend. heading to pittsburgh to visit brent and ikea. and pick up some steelers stuff since, oddly enough, i can't find any here in cincy. be a quick turnaround - probably less than 24 hours there. going to head up early saturday morning, come back sunday. sunday will be....interesting. see if you can follow this: my friend beth is getting married sunday afternoon. i, however, did not rate an invitation to the wedding. however, beth asked bea to invite me as her date, but not so much so bea has someone to go with but so i will be at the wedding so i can (finally, after months of prodding) meet beth's friend jessica, who is the "artistic coordinator" for beth's wedding. still with me? now from what i've been told, jessica is "perfect" for me. beth (jokingly, i hope) refers to her as my future wife, which was echoed by someone else who met her. even her future husband is actually excited about this meeting.
no pressure or anything.
i'm not opposed to being set up, though it has only happened a handful of times in my life, probably because i give off that "i'm comfortable being single" vibe (that's the explanation i'm sticking with anyway. i don't like the other options....). and if nothing else, it will be fun to meet someone. i'm a bit guarded, though, trying not to get my hopes up too high. the comfort of the pessimist - keep the threat of being disappointed to a minimum. but who knows what will happen.
curious collision: last night on a whim i met bea and went to see friends with money (sorry gina. just kind of happened). the movie rang "true" - the characters seemed real and not mere tools to be used by the director/writer. and the cast was wonderful, especially ms. mcdormand - hilarious. anyway, joan's character raised a question i've pondered myself before - do i have friends who are friends just because i met them at the right time? that if i met them earlier or later in my life, we would never have become friends? it's all about timing, right? anyway, bea and i were talking about this after the movie and i mentioned my friend jennifer - the doctor i've known since we were in grade school. our lives are quite different from the ones we shared while we were growing up and last time i saw her, i wondered if we met at a party or a club now whether we would even have much of a conversation. now, i haven't heard from jennifer since last time i was nyc, which is what, two years ago now? three? and she's moved to florida and gotten married since. i've sent out a couple of e-mails, but nothing, which made me sad because she's one of my oldest friends and i would hate to lose touch. anyway, i opened my e-mail today and there waiting was a change of e-mail address from her. again, timing. so i'll be writing her again and hopefully she'll respond this time. keep your fingers crossed.
spew spew spew.
ok, i have e-mails to write and a poem idea to get down. the year is almost done. and as i mentioned last night at house church, i'm looking forward to taking some time to gather the scattered pieces of my life and seeing what they look like now. who knows, maybe it will be a whole new picture....
Æ
Tunes: rush - ceiling unlimited
Saturday, May 27, 2006
up in the morning
let's see, it's 10:11, which means i have been up for, oh, nearly four and a half hours now. not the way i envisioned my memorial day weekend beginning. add to that the inability to sleep last night until around 3AM and you have a good inkling of what my brain is like at the moment. on the plus side, the extra early morning hours have allowed me to get most of my laundry done for the moment. will pull my khakis and jeans out of the dryer soon, put in my whites and bed sheets, then head out to mow my lawn, which means i could conceivably be finished with the chores i set for myself before noon.
now if i can just avoid crashing too hard later today.
for the final friday with students, yesterday sucked. something attacked me, emotionally, and i was out of sorts the entire day. andy joked 'twas from realizing soon my students would be gone and i would be missing them. somehow i doubt it. not that i don't love my students, but i am anxious for the summer to come so i can refresh and recharge. anyway, i felt horrible inside, made worse because i felt myself inflicting it on my students, which they didn't deserve. ah well, 'twill be over soon enough. trying not to think of all i have to get done before tuesday arrives....
already i feel myself gripping time too tightly, watching it spill through my fingers. summer has yet begun and already i feel myself wasting it. i look ahead to the coming weeks and realize i have little planned, which somehow translates itself into doing nothing. which i know is not true, but it's how it feels. i have no trips planned, not now that i realize my hope of making it to nyc to see doug has evaporated (sorry anne. just can't make the timing or the fundage work). so what will i do with my time? right now i depend on making it into shakespeare in sharonville, which i am confident will happen. the question is which role will i play. at least it will take up some of my time, keep me from being a complete sluggard for the summer months. and as nature abhors a vacuum, i know the space will eventually be filled one way or another. i only pray it is with meaningful activity - or non-activity as the case may be.
ali's party is tonight, which will be a wonderful way to spend the evening. here's hoping social thurm shows up and not his melancholy, introverted twin. sounds like 'twould be easy to control, but 'tis not. nappage may be needed to insure the necessary energy. if only i had my hammock....perhaps i should journey to sam's, which i need to do anyway as i am dangerously low on toilet paper and soap.
dryer time. must remove so they don't wrinkle. then mow mow mow. here's to enjoying a glorious day.
Æ
Tunes: teenage fanclub - sharky's dream
now if i can just avoid crashing too hard later today.
for the final friday with students, yesterday sucked. something attacked me, emotionally, and i was out of sorts the entire day. andy joked 'twas from realizing soon my students would be gone and i would be missing them. somehow i doubt it. not that i don't love my students, but i am anxious for the summer to come so i can refresh and recharge. anyway, i felt horrible inside, made worse because i felt myself inflicting it on my students, which they didn't deserve. ah well, 'twill be over soon enough. trying not to think of all i have to get done before tuesday arrives....
already i feel myself gripping time too tightly, watching it spill through my fingers. summer has yet begun and already i feel myself wasting it. i look ahead to the coming weeks and realize i have little planned, which somehow translates itself into doing nothing. which i know is not true, but it's how it feels. i have no trips planned, not now that i realize my hope of making it to nyc to see doug has evaporated (sorry anne. just can't make the timing or the fundage work). so what will i do with my time? right now i depend on making it into shakespeare in sharonville, which i am confident will happen. the question is which role will i play. at least it will take up some of my time, keep me from being a complete sluggard for the summer months. and as nature abhors a vacuum, i know the space will eventually be filled one way or another. i only pray it is with meaningful activity - or non-activity as the case may be.
ali's party is tonight, which will be a wonderful way to spend the evening. here's hoping social thurm shows up and not his melancholy, introverted twin. sounds like 'twould be easy to control, but 'tis not. nappage may be needed to insure the necessary energy. if only i had my hammock....perhaps i should journey to sam's, which i need to do anyway as i am dangerously low on toilet paper and soap.
dryer time. must remove so they don't wrinkle. then mow mow mow. here's to enjoying a glorious day.
Æ
Tunes: teenage fanclub - sharky's dream
moments (stolen)
allison blogged on this and i commented on her blog and since i'm too tired to write anything else, this will have to do for now....
- walking under a tree during an eclipse and seeing hundreds of scattered eclipses from the shadows of the leaves
- sitting under the stars on a florida beach the summer after college, talking with my friends on where we thought we'd be in a year as we watched a storm roll across the horizon
- on my knees in a converted hotel meeting room in denver where God told me the path i had walked for 13 years was no longer for me
- a chilly october night in arrowhead stadium, singing with or without you to no one in particular
- sitting in the back seat of jay's car, holding hands for the first time with a girl i would never kiss
- my lips actually burning after keeping a promise to my friend mike and stealing a kiss from my friend michelle
- the shock of hearing my name called for the best performance award my sophomore year of high school
- rounding the curve on my bicycle, hitting the gravel, and realizing i was headed right for the ditch. i spent the next 13 weeks in a halo
- searching for my ID with stacy and spending hours huddled on a bench sharing dreams and warmth
- having drinks with douglas coupland and a group of campers at a uber-yuppie bar in boston and talking about 9/11 and quilting
your turn. share yours.
Æ
Tunes: chris isaac - wicked game
- walking under a tree during an eclipse and seeing hundreds of scattered eclipses from the shadows of the leaves
- sitting under the stars on a florida beach the summer after college, talking with my friends on where we thought we'd be in a year as we watched a storm roll across the horizon
- on my knees in a converted hotel meeting room in denver where God told me the path i had walked for 13 years was no longer for me
- a chilly october night in arrowhead stadium, singing with or without you to no one in particular
- sitting in the back seat of jay's car, holding hands for the first time with a girl i would never kiss
- my lips actually burning after keeping a promise to my friend mike and stealing a kiss from my friend michelle
- the shock of hearing my name called for the best performance award my sophomore year of high school
- rounding the curve on my bicycle, hitting the gravel, and realizing i was headed right for the ditch. i spent the next 13 weeks in a halo
- searching for my ID with stacy and spending hours huddled on a bench sharing dreams and warmth
- having drinks with douglas coupland and a group of campers at a uber-yuppie bar in boston and talking about 9/11 and quilting
your turn. share yours.
Æ
Tunes: chris isaac - wicked game
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
wishing i wasn't still singing this song....
I can't believe summer's almost here
I made it through another year even if alone
but there's no tears in my eyes
life is still full of surprise
I'm not looking for a one night stand
I stand behind you and I watch you from a mile away
wishing you could be the one but not here this way
I'd like to know your name
and I must know who you are Yeah
I look at you and I know who you are
you're just a little bit too far from my home
but please don't get me wrong even though it has been long
I hope I never sing my last song without someone
king's x - goldilox
Tunes: duh
Monday, May 22, 2006
anyone want a free magazine?
one of my favorite magazines, paste magazine, is asking its subscribers to supply names and addresses of those who would like to recieve a free issue, no strings attached. i love this magazine - great articles, and you get a cd every issue and sometimes a dvd. i've been a subscriber since issue #1 and i have never failed to read it cover to cover. and the cds, unlike some compilations, are full of great tunes.
only catch: i have to turn in my list by may 26 (friday). so if you're interested, e-mail your address to me and i'll make sure you get an issue.
what have you got to lose?
Æ
Tunes: the white stripes - i'm bound to pack it up (e-music added the white stripes to their downloads - woohoo!)
only catch: i have to turn in my list by may 26 (friday). so if you're interested, e-mail your address to me and i'll make sure you get an issue.
what have you got to lose?
Æ
Tunes: the white stripes - i'm bound to pack it up (e-music added the white stripes to their downloads - woohoo!)
the battle is over....
...but the war rages on.
just a bit of hyperbole here at the end of the first prong of my three battle war with my student's work. the research papers are graded - i will input them into the gradebook tomorrow and pass them back. this leaves only the independent novel projects, which i hope to finish by friday, and their journals, which will be graded while i work at the auditorium this weekend (or on memorial day, if all else fails). spent the afternoon at panera, which worked well enough that i may try it again in the future. they have caffeine-free diet pepsi, which is good news for my overly sensitive body (was up past 2AM last night because of the caffeinated beverage i had last night around 6PM. ridiculous). with each paper graded i can feel another layer peeled off, lightening my load and preparing me for the glory of summer.
i'll try not to get all giddy on yo' asses as the time draws to a close.
thanks for those who provided some insight into my dream. as was pointed out elsewhere, i have indeed had a similar dream before, which i realized as i typed it up. repeating dreams must mean this is a serious issue i'm trying to work out. from my friend alexa: (via http://www.dreammoods.com/dreamdictionary/w2.htm)
"To see a wedding in your dream, symbolizes a new beginning or transition in your current life. Dreams involving weddings are generally negative and highlight some anxiety or fear. It often refers to feelings of bitterness, sorrow, or death. Alternatively, wedding dreams reflect your issues about commitment and independence.
To dream that you are planning your own wedding to someone you never met, is a metaphor symbolizing the union of your masculine and feminine side. It represents a transitional phase where you are seeking some sort of balance between your aggressive side and emotional side."
i hope it's the latter interpretation, 'cause otherwise i need to figure out what my anxiety, bitterness or sorrow is about. though death certainly has been a significant part of my life in recent months. hmmmm. more to ponder (which will probably screw up even more of my dreams).
ok, off to bed. here's hoping sleep slips under the sheets with me much earlier tonight.
Æ
Tunes: the white stripes - you're pretty good looking (for a girl)
just a bit of hyperbole here at the end of the first prong of my three battle war with my student's work. the research papers are graded - i will input them into the gradebook tomorrow and pass them back. this leaves only the independent novel projects, which i hope to finish by friday, and their journals, which will be graded while i work at the auditorium this weekend (or on memorial day, if all else fails). spent the afternoon at panera, which worked well enough that i may try it again in the future. they have caffeine-free diet pepsi, which is good news for my overly sensitive body (was up past 2AM last night because of the caffeinated beverage i had last night around 6PM. ridiculous). with each paper graded i can feel another layer peeled off, lightening my load and preparing me for the glory of summer.
i'll try not to get all giddy on yo' asses as the time draws to a close.
thanks for those who provided some insight into my dream. as was pointed out elsewhere, i have indeed had a similar dream before, which i realized as i typed it up. repeating dreams must mean this is a serious issue i'm trying to work out. from my friend alexa: (via http://www.dreammoods.com/dreamdictionary/w2.htm)
"To see a wedding in your dream, symbolizes a new beginning or transition in your current life. Dreams involving weddings are generally negative and highlight some anxiety or fear. It often refers to feelings of bitterness, sorrow, or death. Alternatively, wedding dreams reflect your issues about commitment and independence.
To dream that you are planning your own wedding to someone you never met, is a metaphor symbolizing the union of your masculine and feminine side. It represents a transitional phase where you are seeking some sort of balance between your aggressive side and emotional side."
i hope it's the latter interpretation, 'cause otherwise i need to figure out what my anxiety, bitterness or sorrow is about. though death certainly has been a significant part of my life in recent months. hmmmm. more to ponder (which will probably screw up even more of my dreams).
ok, off to bed. here's hoping sleep slips under the sheets with me much earlier tonight.
Æ
Tunes: the white stripes - you're pretty good looking (for a girl)
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