the thumper rule is in effect

please see Bambi for more details.
Æ

Tunes: wally pleasant - first love

the overwhelming blankness

nothing worse than a blank page.

yeah, want to write again, but again, words fail me.

my life seems so unimportant lately. or at least uninteresting. insignificant?

no, not insignificant. just not worth writing about. i mean, it means something to me, obviously, otherwise i wouldn't crawl out of bed in the morning. but the masses? ehh, not so much.

hate this apathy, you know? though is it apathy if i care enough to hate it?

ok, this is much more interesting. a favorite christmas song of mine. God bless shane macgowan. no, seriously, have you seen him lately?

anyway....

A Fairy Tale of New York

It was Christmas Eve babe
In the drunk tank
An old man said to me, won't see another one
And then he sang a song
The Rare Old Mountain Dew
I turned my face away
And dreamed about you

Got on a lucky one
Came in eighteen to one
I've got a feeling
This year's for me and you
So happy Christmas
I love you baby
I can see a better time
When all our dreams come true

They've got cars big as bars
They've got rivers of gold
But the wind goes right through you
It's no place for the old
When you first took my hand
On a cold Christmas Eve
You promised me
Broadway was waiting for me

You were handsome
You were pretty
Queen of New York City
When the band finished playing
They howled out for more
Sinatra was swinging,
All the drunks they were singing
We kissed on a corner
Then danced through the night

The boys of the NYPD choir
Were singing "Galway Bay"
And the bells were ringing out
For Christmas day

You're a bum
You're a punk
You're an old slut on junk
Lying there almost dead on a drip in that bed
You scumbag, you maggot
You cheap lousy faggot
Happy Christmas your arse
I pray God it's our last

I could have been someone
Well so could anyone
You took my dreams from me
When I first found you
I kept them with me babe
I put them with my own
Can't make it all alone
I've built my dreams around you

Tunes: the perishers - blue christmas

curious

i am drawn tonight to write
yet i have nothing to say
no insights, no stories, nothing
of any significance
and why the words
come in verse
i do not know

i should be in bed
i should be grading papers
i should be making a difference somehow

i am doing nothing
but throwing words onto the screen
and hoping they don't slide off into
the abyss

it's easier for me to get closer to heaven
than ever feel whole again

why mr. smith is in my head
remains a mystery
but there he is and has been and probably will be

i hesitate to post
knowing the words aren't elegant
aren't meaningful
aren't much
but they'll stay
a snapshot of my brain
faded and out of focus
but full of odd colors

i rub the stone in my pocket
and whisper the name inscribed
in deep blue sharpie
and pray all is well and love and light and life
refract in her eyes

unconnected...
my body has been sensing the lack
more than my heart
seeking contact
trying to merge
tired of being only flesh
needing more
and more and more and more and

this is not art
this is not eloquent
this is simply
me
tonight
this moment
for whatever it's worth

i pray the week slides swiftly by
reducing the days to a single handful

the elements will be dissolved with fire
haunts me and cries for words of my own
another night perhaps

let sleep come
let words stop
let peace rule
let love
let go
stop
Æ