ArtWalk

We'll begin with some thoughts I had wandering through the Starburst exhibit (right side) at CAM today. Then we'll see where it goes from there.

Looking at pictures behind glass, it's impossible not to see yourself reflected in them, both literally and metaphorically. The pictures shift and change depending on where you stand, your silhouette strangely making visible what lies there. You have to focus, concentrate, lest your eyes stare at the reflection and not the image beneath the glass.

These Eggleston photos again make me wonder about the stories behind them. Why are those two men standing together? What is the boy in the chair thinking? What happens beyond the doors of that unnamed building? Why is that man standing naked in a room graffitied with God? The critics hailed these photos as boring. But aren't all photos that way when you have no connection to the story behind/beneath them? Even the mighty Adams could be dismissed as someone else's artsy vacation photos.

divolas: These images move me more than the abstract Kasten's next to them. The collision of the decaying beach house with the eternal beauty of the ocean and sky behind it. The garish colors of delapidation make the softer colors of the sunset more poignant somehow. Or maybe that's me writing my story into what I see. Not that there's anything wrong with that. In fact, I'd say it was expected.

The scripture today is John 9, the story of the man born blind. Yet another scripture where people are looking to blame and Jesus focuses on something greater. I wonder how the blind man made it to the pool of Siloam to wash. Did someone take him? Did he know the way to go? And what must it have been like, to see for the first time. Like being reborn where everything you've known is changed. I've heard stories of those who received their sight being overwhelmed by all they were now able to see. Sometimes this world is overwhelming to those who are used to seeing. I can't imagine it all being new. And then to have those around you doubting your identity and peppering you with questions. I think I would have run off and locked myself in my room for a while, until I could deal with this new world around me.

Perhaps that's why I like photographs so much - they take that which I've gotten used to and make it new. Almost like seeing for the first time.

Looking at all these pictures from the 70s, I wonder if our current time will have such a strong aesthetic. You can tell the time period simply from the photos - the design of the cars and building, the colors they used. Time and objects now seem so generic. Given a photo of 1995 and 2010, could anyone 30 years from now tell the difference? Or perhaps there is an aesthetic, only I'm too close to it now to see it. Perhaps I have to wait 30 years to see what this particular time period will be remembered for. Perhaps only then will I be able to appreciate what is all around me right now.

It was only Rob and I today, so plenty of time to sit and talk. We discussed the possibility of him and Lilly leaving and moving to CA. I'm excited for him and the opportunity to follow his passion, but am saddened too at the thought of them leaving. Guess that's true any time someone you care about moves away. And it could all happen relatively quickly - if Rob gets accepted, he'll need to be in CA by June. It does certainly seem that God has little by little been freeing them from their ties here in Cincinnati, so I guess I wouldn't be surprised to see them go. We talked about getting those involved in Thinplace together and talking about the eventuality which would be good. I know ArtWalk will continue as it's now become a vital part of my life. As for our journaling time, my guess is it will go on, though perhaps in an altered form. I'm trying not to get ahead of myself, but also don't want to get caught off guard.

Bleah. Just realized it's an hour later than it actually is due to that jerk Ben Franklin. At least now it happens away from my birthday. I'm going to miss actually driving to work while the sun was rising. Back to the darkness for my morning drive.

Went and saw Copout tonight. Was pretty much what I expected, which was not much. Willis definitely phoned his part in. And I still don't understand the appeal of Morgan, though he did have some funny bits. Not nearly as bad as Jersey Girl, but definitely not a fave of mine. I figure Smith simply wanted to work with Willis and took this project to do it. His life, he can do what he wants. But I felt it was mediocre at best.

Went to see the movie at the Regal in Mason and therefore ran into several students, both at the movies and Red Robin. All I could think as I talked to them was the line from Mean Girls: "Oh, I love seeing teachers outside of school. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs." I wonder if that's what they're thinking, too.

OK. I guess I should start to wind down. Another choreography rehearsal tomorrow. I definitely need to be well rested for it. At least I know what I'll be wearing this time. Until tomorrow.

Æ

no...of course I'm not home blogging on a Friday night...

OK. Yes I am.

Friday has finally arrived and I could think of nothing better to do than to stay home, catch up with my DVR and browse the interwebs. Such a glamorous life I lead. But not terribly unexpected after the craziness of the first week of a new trimester and the impending doom of OGT week. Throw in my first choreography rehearsal in two years and, well, you have one mostly exhausted Thurman.

Favorite line of the night: "Disappointing you is like choking the Little Mermaid with a bike chain." Jeff Winger - Community Don't know why more people don't love this show.

Sorry. Brain is a bit scattered tonight so should be interesting to see where my fingers take us. Hopefully no where too embarrassing (though that might be more fun for everyone but me).

I want this t-shirt. No, really. One of my favorite lines ever. Non-geeks need not click on the link as you probably won't understand it.

From the greed and consumerism department: Got my Norwood taxes back from my friend Gary. So instead of owing the city a ton of money, they actually owe me a whole dollar (which they won't send to me, which I don't care). What's this mean? It means the quest for a new TV is officially on! Woohoo! Anyone want to go shopping with me? Or give me suggestions on what and where to look?

Curious collision: I recently downloaded Emmylou Harris's Heartaches & Highways and the new song on the collection is called...wait for it..."Connection." And it's playing right now. Unfortunately, I seem unable to find the lyrics and since I'm writing at the moment, I don't have the time to actually listen to them. But I find it amusing just the same.

A friend of mine emailed me about my thoughts on connection and said they didn't believe a connection could occur via social networking sites. I'm not sure I believe that completely. My friend claims you can't truly connect with someone unless you've met them face to face and looked into their eyes. But my experience speaks to a different reality. I have friends who I met online and felt connected to well before we actually came face to face in 3-D world. And I've felt connected to people I've never met before in person. Now you could argue those aren't true connections, that we're connected to the idea of the person and not the person themselves or to their online persona but not the actual person. But I'm sure that happens in face to face relationships, too. Again, it may depend upon your idea of connection and what that means.

Don't get me wrong - I think it's difficult to connect online because, well, it's much easier to lie, to show only specific parts of yourself but not the whole. But in some ways, it's also much easier to be open and honest - our anonymity gives us the freedom to put ourselves out there in ways we don't with people we know. Hmm, paradox much? I understand the pitfalls of feeling connected to people online, but I'm not ready to dismiss it completely. Or maybe it's an example of hope springing eternal, that somewhere out there (beneath the pale moonlight) are other souls I could connect to...and I don't have to actually be in their physical presence for that to take place.

ArtWalk tomorrow. Looking forward to hitting the other side of the photography exhibit for another trip down nostalgia lane and hanging out with people I haven't seen in far too long. Time for me to renew my membership, though part of me wonders if I should. I mean, I joined last year because they were starting to charge for parking, but now that I can get it validated by eating at the cafe (and when don't I do that?), it might be better to take it on a visit by visit basis. I'll probably still reup - I want to give the museum as much support as I can.

OK, time to go continue my night of DVR overdosing with some Caprica and The Soup. Then maybe I'll catch up on Spartacus. Ah, the glamorous life...Æ

we're going to party like it's 1985

Sore. Sore. Sore. Sore. Sore. As if I needed another reminder of times approaching footsteps. First choreography rehearsal tonight. Opening number. I'm going to be lucky to be standing once it's all said and done. Though, on the good side, I picked up the moves pretty quickly and I didn't drop my partner when I did the lifts. Here's hoping I can continue that on Sunday for the next choreo rehearsal..and that my muscles have recovered by then.

I'm a bit frightened by the moves we're doing - they're all the ones I avoided in high school in my attempt to be holy. The running man. The Roger Rabbit. The snake. Scary scary scary. I think there's even a little Thriller in there. And that's only the first number. Probably a good thing my grandmother doesn't know about my blog. She'd be appalled. I'm sure the good Reverend Phineas Bresee is rolling over in his grave. Of course, my friends are probably rolling in the aisles at the thought of me dancing those moves.

Speaking of which, if you're reading this, you should make plans to come see the show. Tickets are already on sale and some of the shows are selling out quickly. May 6-9, 13-16, 19-22. Footlighters. I'll try and post info as I get it. I promise, this is going to be a fun, fun show (and not just because you get to try and see me dance).

I'm not going to make it a full half hour tonight. Muscles too tired, head to spinny, need for sleep far too strong. Plus, I need to get up early and make sure I have my wiki all set up and ready to go for class. Starting our lit circles tomorrow. Everything went well splitting the classes into groups except for my 2nd bell. 21 guys. 7 girls. And most of the guys all chose the same book. We'll see if I can balance out the groups somehow, though when I asked some of them to take their second choice, they balked. I can't really blame them - what's the point of offering choice if they're not going to get the book they really want?

That pinging sound in my head must mean it's time for sleep. Sorry for the brief post. Hopefully my usual Teacher Friday Night doesn't wipe me out. Night!

Æ

somehow the vital connection is made

A bit odd coming here right after watching this week's House. The episode focused on a blogger who shared her entire life on her blog. It dealt with many of the questions I've raised about blogging - why do I do it, who is it for, how do I decide what I write about, etc. The character on the show attempted to share everything, without editing, to break down any walls of privacy in an attempt to connect with people. But is that what it takes to connect with people, complete transparency? Does it actually help people feel closer to you? Or is there a point at which sharing everything actually keeps you from connecting with people? I don't know. I know I don't share everything here (and everyone should be overjoyed that I do not). Many, many things that happen in our lives don't need to be shared with everyone. And maybe that's the key: it's not about simply sharing, but about with whom you share what you share. I shouldn't be about connecting with everyone; it should be about finding those people with whom you connect and then opening up yourself to them. But then how do you find those people unless you first open yourself up?

This is something I often struggle with - this idea of connection. I used to joke that I felt like a Duplo block in a Lego world - kind of the same, but not exactly. The show talked about how the internet was supposed to solve this problem - with so many people online, you had a much better chance of finding someone who thought like you than if you had to rely on the people in your general vicinity. Makes sense. But simply finding people like you is much different than actually connecting with people. With social networking sites, we're more "connected" than ever. We know more about our "friends" than we used to. But I don't see it making us any more connected. We have more information about people, but I'm not sure we actual "know" them any better.

I used to believe the more you knew about a person, the better able you would be to connect with them. And to an extent, without knowledge there's no way to truly connect. But there's more involved than just knowledge for true connection. I mean, I have many friends that I know a lot about, but the amount of knowledge doesn't necessarily transfer to being more connected. There's something else involved, right? Something that allows us to connect with people we barely know? Something that separates our acquaintances from our deep friends?

But what is that thing? Is it like the ever-elusive chemistry we talk about in dating relationships - impossible to define but we know when we have it? Again, I don't know. I don't understand why I connect with some people and not others or why at some points in my life I can't seem to connect with anyone. Trying harder doesn't help and may in fact hinder. Perhaps this is one of those areas of life I'm going to have to surrender to mystery and realize there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in my philosophy...

Anyway, it's obvious through this Lenten experiment that I do not have what it takes to be an actual writer, by which I mean, I lack the discipline necessary to do it well. I'm far too good at finding excuses not to write instead of making time to do it. Even when I try to get myself to write by attaching a spiritual aspect to it I can't quite do it. Would be much easier if I didn't keep my life so busy. I wear myself out, leaving little energy to do activities like writing. Watching TV is far less taxing than sitting down to gather my thoughts and when I'm exhausted, I tend to go for what is less taxing.

Of course, being exhausted doesn't seem to help me sleep any better at night. Insomnia has crept back into my life here at the beginning of the trimester, as it always seems to do. I'm sure if I was in therapy I'd be able to make the connection between the two. But right now, I'm too tired to think about it.

Things that make me wonder: my neighbors behind me currently have almost every light in their house on. This is not an unusual occurrence. And there are few times, even in the middle of the night, when I turn to look out my window and don't see at least one or two lights on. Just strange to me.

And that my friends is a sign I should stop typing. Probably won't get to blogging until late tomorrow - school, then film club (The Fisher King) then my first choreography rehearsal for The Wedding Singer. I'm exhausted and I haven't even started yet. Better get some sleep tonight (I hope, I hope, I hope). Æ

not enough hours in the day

11:22 and I have to get up in six hours so there will be very little writing here today. Thought about blowing it off all together but decided I should say something at least. Highlights of the last day or so?

• The Wedding Singer music is written for men with a much better range than me and less testosterone.
• Sleeping in will not work for me as I can't handle dealing with the traffic around the school every morning.
• My classes were quiet today - almost too quiet. Makes me nervous.
• I got a haircut but you can't tell.
• I need good ideas for good bar songs for my band to play.

OK, I'm slacking off and going to bed. Hopefully I won't run out of hours again tomorrow. Night. Æ

they're going to regret this in five years

Monday. Time for recovery from the weekend. Time for new starts. Time for me to try and do this blogging thing some other time than right before I'm going to bed.

Some leftover items from the weekend first. I went Saturday to see Burton's Alice in Wonderland. It was a Burton film - pretty to look at, but the story left me less than engaged. How less? I dozed off for a while somewhere in the middle and don't feel I missed too much. It's definitely pretty to look at and I didn't mind the grown-up Alice aspect, but it didn't wow me, which is what I was hoping for. Everything was adequate, which for a Burton film, was a bit underwhelming.

I also got the chance to catch Pomegranates for their vinyl release party - unlike last weekend when I got shut out of the Pop Empire show, there was plenty of space this time. Almost too much space. I was surprised at how few people there were. I also didn't see many of the regular crowd I've grown accustomed to seeing at the shows. The show was a bit bittersweet because it marked Josh's last gig with the band. No explanation on what happened, which I guess I understand, though it does fuel questions and rumors on why he's leaving. Was he asked to go? Did he decide to go? Did he find another band? Did they like the new guy better? I have no idea. Speaking of the new guy (who they didn't introduce at all, which also seemed strange), all I can say at this point is he's tall. Decent guitar player, didn't change the sound or feel of the band, which is probably what they're going for. He didn't play the song I was most curious about, "Coriander," because they saved that for Josh. Guess we'll find out at upcoming gigs. Talking with Isaac after the show, it sounds like they'll be plenty busy soon - SXSW this week then returning home and working on some new material. Yeah for new material.

Oh yeah, and I picked up their limited edition vinyl. Very pretty. And lyrics! Score!

Yesterday was the first read through for The Wedding Singer. A little nerve wracking, considering it was a new company (Footlighters) and pretty much a whole new group of people to work with (I only know the director and two of the cast members and they're both principals I'll probably not share many scenes with). And the cast is young. Way young. Other than the grandmother role, I think I'm the only one who actually remembers 1985. And I'm guessing some of them weren't even born then. But it looks to be a fun cast and a fun show. In fact, that's going to be the operative word for this show: fun. Much like the movie, it's not great theater or great depth, but the audience will walk out having had a great time. Tonight's our first singing rehearsal (nothing like jumping right from one show into another) so we'll see how it goes. As an ensemble member I've been assigned a couple of roles (the priest at Robbie's wedding, a bum who sings one of my favorite songs from the show). Can't wait to get started.

Added bonus: no Tuesday night rehearsals which means I don't have to figure out what to do with Entertaining Lucy. Excellent.

Went to Tracy and Kristy's Oscar party last night. Had a fantastic time hanging out with everyone and watching it on a HUGE screen with an amazing sound system. The show was pretty much what I expected - Steve and Alec were funny, NPH was incredible, Tina Fey and Robert Downey Jr. were hilarious. But the awards themselves left little drama. Warning: rant ahead. As for The Hurt Locker winning best picture...this only confirms my opinion that the Oscars are all about money and hype. I know many people loved The Hurt Locker and were glad to see Bigelow win over Cameron (which, I admit, did make me happy). But I'll say this now: if The Hurt Locker had been made by a man, it would not have been nominated for an Oscar and never would have won. It's like people were amazed an action picture was directed by a woman so they rewarded the oddity more than the film itself. Why this one more than any of the other action films she's done? I have no idea. Look, it's not a horrible movie (like Crash was), but I think five, ten years from now, people will look back and say, "Really? We said this was the best picture? Really?"

Same with Sandra Bullock's win. She's cute and fun and fine for the roles she typically plays. But best actress? I sat there watching the clips before they announced the winner and EVERY other actress did a better job in their movie than she did. If I'd been judging just by the clips, I would have been flabbergasted that she'd won. I did not see the movie (and don't plan on seeing the movie) but I didn't see anything in any of the clips that would have made me think, "Wow, she really put on the performance of a lifetime."

I may be done with Oscar. They rarely reward the performances or the films I think were truly outstanding and I end up feeling exhausted and disappointed every year. And despite promises, the show was as horrible as year's past (for the love of all that is holy, stop doing interpretive dances!) And I also feel completely out of touch with everyone. If they would only take my suggestion and award Oscars five years after the films release then I might find them actually worthy. It takes at least that long to realize which films have staying power and which ones were all about they hype. Of course, you could say that about any awards given - books, music, etc.

I think I'm expecting too much of my awards shows.

Lots of good comments on my post pornstache look. I'd originally intended to grow the beard right back, but maybe I'll go about barefaced for a while. The only problem is I have to get a new driver's license this month and it might be weird to be be without facial hair for that since I have some kind of facial hair the majority of the time. We'll see how I feel after a week or so.

Today was teacher work day and I feel remarkably prepared for tomorrow's onslaught of new students, which of course makes me nervous I'm forgetting something. But at least I'll have first bell plan to make sure every thing is in order. I may even experiment with getting up later, say 6:00 AM instead of 5:00 AM. I didn't do that first tri because I knew I'd have to break the habit once 2nd tri started. But I have no such worries now. I even got a decent lunch, so I teach two bells, have lunch and then teach two more bells. Couldn't ask for a better schedule (well, I could ask for 4th bell plan, but that's not going to happen). Here's to the final trimester - I hope it all goes well.

OK, time to grab some dinner before heading down for rehearsal. Very excited to get started.

Æ

mea culpa

Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been two days since my last entry. I've been too busy and I humbly repent. Christ have mercy. Lord have mercy. Christ have mercy.

You would think if I've been too busy to blog I'd have plenty to write about. But busy-ness does not equal interesting. But we'll give it my best shot.

2nd trimester is nearly over - teacher work day tomorrow than a whole new batch of students on Tuesday. I get four days with them before the week-long extravaganza that is the Ohio Graduation Test. Joy. So I'll only see them every other day and they'll be OGT zombies so the odds of learning anything are slim to none. Then I get a full week with them and then the week before spring break we have our rescheduled black history month speaker on Monday, altered schedule Tuesday, primetime Wednesday and pep assembly on Thursday with Good Friday starting our spring break. So yeah, planning should be interesting. I have some of it ready - in fact, I'm much farther along than I normally am at this point. Had almost all my exams graded before lunch on Friday - only a handful of IEP tests that haven't been returned by their support educators to mark up on Monday. Don't think I'll have any students scrambling on Monday to turn in late work - as usual, most students grades didn't change with the final, either up or down.

Lots of endings this week - end of the trimester, end of Beyond Therapy, end of my facial hair (sorry, I couldn't keep the porn 'stache any longer). But some beginnings too - heading down to Newport this afternoon for my first meet and greet with the cast from The Wedding Singer. I'm excited and a bit nervous - pretty sure I'm the oldest person in the cast. Probably only one who was actually alive during the 80s. This is the first musical I've ever done where I know nothing about the show going in - everything else I've at least had a vague idea. Not this time. Should make life interesting. At the very least today, I'll find out how much of my schedule is swallowed up by rehearsals. Hopefully not too much or at least nothing that will cause drastic changes in my current calendar.

Strike is this morning, so can't make it to the monthly gathering at St. E's. And no Thinplace tonight. Sometimes it feels like I gave up church for Lent. Took a little time this morning to read the Lectionary passages. We've got Moses and the burning bush, a warning lest we be struck down like the Israelites and Jesus saying, basically, not everything happens for a reason and we've got a year to bear fruit or else we'll be cut down. So glad I don't have to preach today. I may have to go searching for sermons today - would love to see what different people focused on. Makes me think of the Otherness of God - His holiness compared to us and how wholly different He is than us. Much easier when we feel we have a grasp on who He is, can understand why He does and allows some things to happen. It makes sense if people are punished for sins - we may not like it, but we get it. But for bad things, like the killing of the Galileans or the accident with the tower, to happen to people no different than us for no apparent reason - it makes no sense. There's always the hope that once we're not stuck in the middle of this thing called Life, we'll have perspective and be able to make sense of it all. But maybe not. Maybe we'll never make sense of it. Maybe we'll reach a point where we simply don't care anymore because it's not important.

Like I said, glad I'm not preaching today.

Abrupt change of topic: got my taxes back from my friend Gary yesterday. Was very excited when I saw my federal and state returns - more than enough to get a decent flat-screen TV if I so desire (and I do, oh I do). But then I looked at my city tax and it said I owed nearly half of my federal return. At first I was furious - leave it to Norwood to find a way to screw me. But as I looked at it closer, it seemed there had been some confusion - the form filled out was for Northwood, Ohio not Norwood. So what I'm hoping is the total was off and I'll only end up owing Norwood my usual amount, which is still annoying, but better than almost five times my usual amount.

OK, time to get ready to head down for strike. A little more prep time today with the shaving of the 'stache. Going to be awfully breezy. Been a while since I've been barefaced though I don't anticipate it lasting too long. Maybe not even a week. Faretheewell. Æ