not tired

rain falls, breeze blows, perfect sleeping weather. so why am i in front of my computer screen just before midnight?

better here typing then lying under covers wishing for sleep.

talked tonight about silence and solitude and how important it was for our relationship with God, our identity and our love for our neighbors. and then we realized we hadn't practiced it in quite a while. so easy to let life take over, find our identity in what we do, our busyness instead of our relationship with our Father. jones claims our purpose on earth is "be still and know that i am God." and yet we find every excuse to fill every waking moment. i challenged us to simply find ten minutes this week to be silent. doesn't sound like much, but you have to start somewhere.

beginning to question the wisdom of posting my sonnet. maybe a public forum isn't the place for it. i know there's nothing wrong with it, but perhaps i should avoid the appearance of "evil." i don't know, i just found it amusing to write. and how often can you work pubescent into iambic pentameter?

gina's issued an ultimatum - i have to let her know by friday if i'll be going to vegas in july. leaning towards going - not like i'm doing anything else this summer. plus, i'll finally get to see the grand canyon - second time there, first time seeing it (see this post for details on earlier disappointments). and after a month of blood-letting, i'll need a break, right?

rest of the week at school should be easy - we're watching TKAM, which means i'll be spending my time trying to finish the research papers (which are absolutely horrible. lowest grades ever. i suck as a teacher), knowing TKAM essays come in thursday and independent novel projects next tuesday. hey, at least i have 19 days to get all this done (i'm trying to put a positive spin on our latelatelatelatelate release this year).

an era ended tonight - gilmore girls is finally through. good final episode - lots of stuff that made the show great, like snappy dialogue, quirky characters, cool music. they didn't tie up all the loose ends, which i appreciate because life rarely does. be sad not to see the girls on a regular basis, but at least now that the show is over, lauren will finally be free to marry me. or have me arrested for stalking her.

we learn the fate of veronica on thursday (thanks alison for giving me hope). from what i can glean from a quick google search, it will either be canceled, renewed or re-imagined. i'll be angry with the first choice, ecstatic with the second and wary of the third. but better the third than the first. if they do re-imagine it, we'll fast forward four years to where veronica is an agent for the fbi. no news on former cast members following, though hard to imagine veronica without keith around. and i would love to have mac around some more. just one more day to wait.

ok, guess i should try to sleep some tonight. hope it comes sooner than later.
Æ

tunes: teenage fanclub - i don't want control of you

stürm und drang

note: i got bored during the vocab test on friday and began to reflect on how difficult it is to pay attention in school at this time of year, especially if you are a teenage boy. suddenly, this sonnet spilled out. imagine shakespeare as a horny teenageer and you'll get the idea.

stürm und drang

i wonder where to rest my wand’ring eye
as i peruse this fresh pubescent throng
such supple skin such coltish milk-white thighs
to linger long my conscience warns is wrong
but everywhere i look distraction waits
inflaming this strange feeling deep inside
she calls my name! i’m lost in dire straits
if i do stand my shame i cannot hide
oh cursed nature! why in heaven’s name
am i surrounded by temptation sweet
while secret dark desires I cannot tame
enfold my soul embarrassment complete
expecting thought from adolescent boys
is all for naught when hormones thought destroys
Æ