filling in a couple of holes

much has happened in the intervening weeks since i was regularly writing, so i thought i'd try to do a quick update on a couple of items left untended.

• the whole let's try dating for a change, while an admirable attempt, has been put on hiatus for a while. eharmony turned out to be less than i had hoped it would be. i didn't mind the process and actually enjoyed the stages you had to move through to get to know people. only it seemed like i have the same problem in cyberspace that i have in real life - i'm only really interested in women who aren't interested in me and vice versa. in the three months of my eharmony experience, i only met one match i wanted to meet in person and she closed me the day i was going to invite her to meet up. reason given: other. nice. really, why not just leave it blank? better than other. besides my own hangups, i question whether i actually want to date someone like me. i'm more of a complementary kind of guy methinks. i mean, i like myself and all, but one of me 24 hours a day is enough. it obviously works for some people, but not for me. and speaking of others for whom eharmony works....

• i have the honor of being in my friend sarah's wedding in april as, get this, a bridesman. yes, i'll be standing up front on the brides side. no, i don't have to wear a champagne-colored cocktail dress. yes, i will be part of the wedding party festivities. no, i don't have to be escorted down the aisle by one of the groomsmen. i'm quite excited to be doing this. some friends have expressed concern as it seems a bit masochistic (for those on the outside, sarah and i dated ever so briefly over a decade ago and we've both held torches for one another at different times in the intervening years - and no, not to burn one another in effigy). but i don't see it that way. sarah's one of my dearest friends, a kindred soul that gets me and i can think of nowhere else i'd rather be than standing up, supporting her as she links her life to brad. plus, i get to visit philadelphia for the first time and take some time off school. how cool is that?

• as for susie, she and i are still in communication, but we've realized we're both too busy and too far away to make a relationship work. plus, as i told her, my old nemesis lack of chemistry raised its head. and i refuse to force a relationship. maybe that's why i'm still single, but knowing how ugly relationships can turn sometimes, that's not so bad a thing.

• our fledgling house church continues to form. some births take longer than others and ours feels a bit like that. it's made me question at times my ability to lead this group, but for now i know i'm where God has led me and while the process is a bit scary at times, i trust whatever lies at the end will be worth all the pushing and labor.

enough catching up for now. must get to bed, as i need to leave for columbus by 9:00AM - am meeting the old college gang at bon vie bistro at easton tomorrow. curious - i just checked online and it seems they don't open until 11:00, but we're meeting at 10:30. wonder if that's intentional. after that i'll probably head up to mvnwhatever to see the winter one acts and catch up with some of the other drama alumni. might just be brent and i and probably wayland. we'll see.

guess i'll have to write about how i went over to the dark side and completely ruined any chance of a social life this afternoon some other time....
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Tunes: art of noise - moments in love

like riding a bicycle

so my short break turned into a long one. maybe too long. i'm not sure. i know not exactly wherefore i left , but i do know wherefore i've come back (but i have no idea why i keep using the word wherefore....). the quote to the right, the one from buechner, has been haunting me since i've been gone. and i realized i was letting my own hangups get in the way. or, rather, other people's hang ups get in mine.

there are as many different types of writers as there are stories out there. some have great wisdom to share, experiences to pass along. some hold grand opinions and want to sway us. some have incredible stories that must be read to be believed. some use words to create beauty. me, i write to make sense of myself. i write to figure out whatever thread is running through my life, to try to gather the scattered thoughts and events of my days into some semblance of a narrative. sometimes it's pretty boring. sometimes it's downright ugly. but it's my story, warts and all, and maybe if you read it, you'll find something that echoes your own story.

who knows?

anyway, i'm back - not with any grand revelation i garnered with my time away, but with a sense that i must share my story, as buechner says, not because it's mine, but because it's ours, and if i don't share it, both of our stories will be diminished somehow. so please read - and if you have the time, share your story with me.

thanks for stopping by. hopefully i'll make it worth your while.
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Tunes: let's active - every word means no