friday night's not right for writing

try saying that several times rather swiftly.

another friday night, another week catching up with me. amazing how completely out of it i feel. really shouldn't attempt this - am sure to get a cramp or something. but i've been neglectful of you, my faithful readers and i must make amends, no matter how painful it may be, for either of us.

good news: another evaluation this week, another glowing post-obs. conference. they're quite impressed with the changes i've made to my classroom. i know i'm still not there, but am glad they aren't thinking of firing me any time soon. it's become more and more apparent to me that mason is the only school i could teach at - no where else could afford me. or would afford me. so i'd best keep doing what i'm doing...otherwise life could become quite the battle.

long weekend - took monday off, ostensibly to get some grading done, but mostly because, regardless of the outcome of sunday's big event, i think i'll need some time away from school. plenty of time to celebrate (read: gloat) when i return on tuesday. and being away monday will give me the chance to steel myself for the inevitable taunting should the steelers lose. unbelievably, i'll be watching the game live, but unlike ten years ago when i watched it by myself in the upstairs of my lansing abode, this time i'll be sharing the experience with the crew at the brownhouse. here's hoping it's an evening to remember, positively anyway.

cannot stop playing "forget myself" by elbow - it's on the new paste sampler and me likey lots. e-music has the whole album - may have to bump that up and download it. but not just yet.

trip to heaven tomorrow morning - getting the works done this time. then will go see the diviners at mason - was thinking i should go to the matinee, but rhonda's going sat. night, so i may go then. feels a touch pathetic to go by myself. not that that has ever stopped me before.

"once upon a time in your wildest dreams"

*sigh* the moody blues make me nostalgic. if i only knew for what...

ok, enough rambling. off to watch some "x-files" episodes - have had the first season forever and just bought the second season now that the price has dropped to 34.99. sometimes it's good to wait. more tomorrow. perhaps. you know how it goes.
Æ

Tunes: U2 - paint it black

my evening

5:58 PM
i cannot believe i have nothing prepared for tonight's house church. i prayed, i searched, and i have absolutely no sense of what God wants to do tonight. i am completely worthless as a house church leader. the group would be far better off without me leading - heck, i'm not even sure i'm leading anyway. maybe we should just talk about finding someone more qualified to lead the group before i drive this group into the ground.

8:15 PM
ok, so i'm still completely worthless as a house church leader. but i guess God didn't "give" me anything to share because He needed the time to do what He wanted to do. and to think it all started with a simple logistical question about VDay, trying to get a sense on if people made plans for the mother of all hallmark holidays. and now we're taking that theme of love and running with it in a very hands-on kind of way.

i know God doesn't call me to be inept. but i sure am glad He's able to use my ineptness to do what He wants.
Æ

Tunes: pedro the lion - promise

a thought

been thinking a lot about individualism lately - mostly negative thoughts. i know it's been held up as a virtue here in the states, but really, it seems so unnatural to me. we're not meant to live and survive on our own. we're not meant to live and let live. we're intricately tied to one another and it's only when we recognize that fact that we are able to fully live.

last night in talking to kat, the old mantra came up - we have to be complete ourselves before we can hope to be in relationship with anyone else. it's been repeated so many times we take it as truth. but is it? what if, instead, some parts of us cannot be complete unless we have others to sharpen us, to enrich us, to focus us? what if our attempts to become complete on our own remain fruitless not because we don't try hard enough but because we need others to help us?

the danger is to go overboard, say we only find completeness in others. i'm not saying that. but i am saying that perhaps this image of the solitary hero standing against the world alone is one we need to let go. and while we tend to think of them as strong, maybe the more difficult path is to actually stand with the world, or at the very least, stand against the world with others. Æ

Tunes: king's x - visions (live)

i done got tagged

look, no more wandering wheels posts. you can come back now. i may do one post bringing some closure to the WW entries. but soon you'll be forced to read my current blatherings and trust me, you'll be pining for the college me.

my friend ang tagged me with this list of questions and since smy brain can't seem to hold a thought, i'd best use this to try and focus myself.

Four jobs I’ve had in my life:
1. Sophomore English Teacher, Mason High School
2. Night Auditor, Sheraton Suites, Cuyahoga Falls, Ohio
3. Minister to Youth and their Families, Lansing First Church of the Nazarene
4. Night Innkeeper, Southmoreland on the Plaza bed and breakfast

Four movies I can watch over and over:
1. Roxanne
2. LOTR Trilogy
3. Say Anything
4. Before Sunrise/Before Sunset

Four places I have lived:
1. Norwood, OH
2. Mt Vernon, OH
3. Lansing, MI
4. Kansas City, MO

Four TV shows I love to watch:
1. Gilmore Girls
2. The Daily Show
3. The Colbert Report
4. My Name is Earl

Four places I have been on vacation:
1. Denver
2. Toronto
3. San Francisco
4. Key West

Four websites I visit daily:
1. livejournal/blogger
2. my yahoo
3. steelerblog
4. e-music

Four of my favorite foods:
1. betta's margharita pizza with pepperoni
2. jalepeno's chimichanga
3. outback prime rib
4. moose tracks ice cream

Four places I would rather be right now:
1. colorado rockies
2. biking down Highway One
3. st. patrick's cathedral, new york
4. at a U2 concert
Æ

Tunes: rancid - ruby soho