oh Lord....
less than six hours 'til the final curtain for chess. in some ways it already feels like it's ended. cast party was last night, filled with many meatballs, many drinks and many goodbyes. poor bartender (who definitely had a paul mitchell vibe going on) politely tried to get us to leave at 2:00 am - lights on, obnoxious music playing. but we didn't want to go. heck, uber-introvert that i am stayed until the bitter end (and, in the interest of full disclosure, i was a wee bit inebriated by the night's end - a tall long island and a shot of vodka and lime will do that to you). at least things shouldn't get maudlin tonight, since we have to tear down the set and get it loaded onto the truck before we can go home. looks like i'll see 3AM again tonight.
honestly, though, i'm glad we'll have the distraction tonight. 'twill keep me from pondering the end too much, keep me from desperately wanting to make some final connection before life pulls us apart, set to drift our separate paths. last couple of days have been far too manic-depressive for me. i know 90% of that is simply lack of sleep. still, it's been a battle of minimal proportions to keep my melancholy nature at bay. figures the time i most want/need to be social is the time i'm least equipped to.
and unfortunately, this also seems to be the prime time for me to come to my blog and whine about it. sorry about that.
this has been a wonderful experience. i am still in awe that i actually got to be a part of this production. not many people out there who can list chess on their resume. and while there are those who don't appreciate the musical (*cough* citybeat *hack*), i still think the concept is a good one. and i think our production was well imagined and well executed. not sure where it will rank in terms of my favorite productions - will need to let the sawdust settle a bit before i can make an unbiased evaluation. but it's definitely been worth all the effort - the hours of rehearsal, the self-induced emotional trauma (sadly documented elsewhere on this blog), the lack of sleep, the loss of social life (well, i suppose i can't blame that all on the musical...). at the end of the night, when the curtain comes down....well, the lights go off....when we meander of the stage, i know my life will be better than when i started this.
it's all about the experience. and the people.
enough for this afternoon. probably should go take a nap so i can stay up late tonight, work my tail off. and not think about the end...
Æ
Tunes: richard cheese - bullet the blue sky
Saturday, May 13, 2006
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
long and productive day
30 minutes until the season finale of the gilmore girls. here's hoping it's good enough to last me through the summer, though i'm afraid they're going to do some cheesy cliffhanger that will merely make me angry. and with amy and daniel leaving next season, i don't know. i mean, i'm sure i'll watch, but....nah, let's be optimistic. it will all be fine. it will end well and not wander near that large shark pit just waiting off the coast....
i should be at house church, but i'm not. stayed home sick today from school - cough got the best of me. didn't feel like going and infecting people. and honestly, i've enjoyed this little break. perhaps i shouldn't admit that, but it's true. i love my church, i do, but sometimes taking a step away for a bit can help. i know it has me. i'll be jumping back in full force soon enough. and i know they'll still be there, which is helpful. and comforting. and comfortable.
and i'm rambling.
finished one bell of research papers today (what a way to ruin a sick day...) and 25% of another. need to keep on top of this and get them done soon - i actually think i'm ahead of where i was last trimester. of course with performances all weekend, my grading time will be severely limited. as will the desire to grade. i'm off to a good start - here's hoping i don't lose momentum.
i'm anxious to get back to the show. seriously. looking forward to being back tomorrow. nice to have the evenings off, but really, i love doing this show. hmmmm. CMT was supposed to decide which show they were going to excerpt - Chess of 42nd Street. wonder if not hearing anything is a sign....be great to have an opportunity to do part of the show again. at least it's out of my control, so no use worrying about it. right?
so not looking forward to thursday....have film club after school, which won't end until about 4:30. then i'll have to run home, jump in the shower, shave and get set for call by 6:000 pm. no rest for the wicked awesome.
anyone out there want/need tickets to richard iii performed by cincy shakes? i bought a subscription and find myself here at the end with extra tickets. i'm willing to make a good deal if anyone's interested. just e-mail me or post a comment or something for more details.
so i've discovered which dogs have been crapping in my yard - turns out to be two of them. both of them belong to direct neighbors, one a chihuahua looking thing and the other a german shepherd type mutt. going to see about getting some fencing and blocking off the gap i think both of them are using. felt a little bad - saw tennessee (the chihuahua) in my yard and ran to scare it off, only to have the neighbor say it belonged to them. awk with huge side of ward. they apologized, i tried to make it sound like it wasn't a big deal, even though it has been bothering me. i mean, there are reasons i don't have a pet of my own...at least i don't have to go buy a paintball gun to try to figure out whose dog it is (just kidding...sort of).
ok, live from nowhere vol. 1 is done ripping and it's time for gg, so i'm done. we'll see what kind of time i have the rest of the week. here's hoping i find time here and there...
Æ
Tunes: daphne loves derby - come winter
i should be at house church, but i'm not. stayed home sick today from school - cough got the best of me. didn't feel like going and infecting people. and honestly, i've enjoyed this little break. perhaps i shouldn't admit that, but it's true. i love my church, i do, but sometimes taking a step away for a bit can help. i know it has me. i'll be jumping back in full force soon enough. and i know they'll still be there, which is helpful. and comforting. and comfortable.
and i'm rambling.
finished one bell of research papers today (what a way to ruin a sick day...) and 25% of another. need to keep on top of this and get them done soon - i actually think i'm ahead of where i was last trimester. of course with performances all weekend, my grading time will be severely limited. as will the desire to grade. i'm off to a good start - here's hoping i don't lose momentum.
i'm anxious to get back to the show. seriously. looking forward to being back tomorrow. nice to have the evenings off, but really, i love doing this show. hmmmm. CMT was supposed to decide which show they were going to excerpt - Chess of 42nd Street. wonder if not hearing anything is a sign....be great to have an opportunity to do part of the show again. at least it's out of my control, so no use worrying about it. right?
so not looking forward to thursday....have film club after school, which won't end until about 4:30. then i'll have to run home, jump in the shower, shave and get set for call by 6:000 pm. no rest for the wicked awesome.
anyone out there want/need tickets to richard iii performed by cincy shakes? i bought a subscription and find myself here at the end with extra tickets. i'm willing to make a good deal if anyone's interested. just e-mail me or post a comment or something for more details.
so i've discovered which dogs have been crapping in my yard - turns out to be two of them. both of them belong to direct neighbors, one a chihuahua looking thing and the other a german shepherd type mutt. going to see about getting some fencing and blocking off the gap i think both of them are using. felt a little bad - saw tennessee (the chihuahua) in my yard and ran to scare it off, only to have the neighbor say it belonged to them. awk with huge side of ward. they apologized, i tried to make it sound like it wasn't a big deal, even though it has been bothering me. i mean, there are reasons i don't have a pet of my own...at least i don't have to go buy a paintball gun to try to figure out whose dog it is (just kidding...sort of).
ok, live from nowhere vol. 1 is done ripping and it's time for gg, so i'm done. we'll see what kind of time i have the rest of the week. here's hoping i find time here and there...
Æ
Tunes: daphne loves derby - come winter
Monday, May 08, 2006
perfect
have been coughing uncontrollably since last night. hard to sleep when your lung is trying to escape through your esophagus.
welcome to monday. only two more left in my school year. that's a thought to scatter away any shadows.
been sorting through metaphors, trying to explain this overwhelming sense of peace and contentment i have from doing the show. but nothing seems to fit. frustrating when words fail me. i stand back stage before the lights go down and the orchestra starts and this rush washes over me and i feel at home. like i belong. this is real, this moment, these hours on the stage. everything else fades away. i'm reminded of the quote by dana on sportsnight: "I live from eleven to midnight and the rush is so huge, I don't come down 'till three o'clock in the morning." that's exactly what i feel.
i think if this was the only place i felt this way, i would be in need of serious therapy (not that i'm not anyway, but i'm just saying....). and i would definitely have to be doing this for a living. and it's one of those things that pushed me here from youth ministry. as secular and selfish as it may sound, my passion for theatre was withering away, dwindling to nothing. and i couldn't let that happen because it's not just a part of me - it is me. without it, i'm someone else.
and the scary thing is, next week at this time it will all be over. and i wonder how soon until i lose touch with these people who have grown to mean so much to me. was talking to rhonda tonight and mentioned i feel like i'm at the end of "the breakfast club," that come next monday, we'll leave the little group we formed over the past three months and we'll fall back into our "real" lives, walking through the halls like our saturday school never happened. doesn't have to be that way, but it's certainly the way of least resistance. will take effort to make it otherwise.
God give me strength to make it otherwise.
off to grab some cough syrup and some green tea so i can kick this what i hope is not bronchitis thing i have. . .
Æ
Tunes: new order - state of the nation
welcome to monday. only two more left in my school year. that's a thought to scatter away any shadows.
been sorting through metaphors, trying to explain this overwhelming sense of peace and contentment i have from doing the show. but nothing seems to fit. frustrating when words fail me. i stand back stage before the lights go down and the orchestra starts and this rush washes over me and i feel at home. like i belong. this is real, this moment, these hours on the stage. everything else fades away. i'm reminded of the quote by dana on sportsnight: "I live from eleven to midnight and the rush is so huge, I don't come down 'till three o'clock in the morning." that's exactly what i feel.
i think if this was the only place i felt this way, i would be in need of serious therapy (not that i'm not anyway, but i'm just saying....). and i would definitely have to be doing this for a living. and it's one of those things that pushed me here from youth ministry. as secular and selfish as it may sound, my passion for theatre was withering away, dwindling to nothing. and i couldn't let that happen because it's not just a part of me - it is me. without it, i'm someone else.
and the scary thing is, next week at this time it will all be over. and i wonder how soon until i lose touch with these people who have grown to mean so much to me. was talking to rhonda tonight and mentioned i feel like i'm at the end of "the breakfast club," that come next monday, we'll leave the little group we formed over the past three months and we'll fall back into our "real" lives, walking through the halls like our saturday school never happened. doesn't have to be that way, but it's certainly the way of least resistance. will take effort to make it otherwise.
God give me strength to make it otherwise.
off to grab some cough syrup and some green tea so i can kick this what i hope is not bronchitis thing i have. . .
Æ
Tunes: new order - state of the nation
Sunday, May 07, 2006
opening weekend
made it. with (surprisingly) energy to spare. at least i'm awake enough at 10:22 to be typing up an entry. that has to be a good sign.
it's been, what, five years since my last musical, maybe six. my time with the mv players is a bit on the fuzzy side. i'd forgotten how much i missed it. the shows this weekend rocked. sure, we had our moments when focus was lost or lines were dropped or notes were missed. but seriously, we kicked major booty. i'm proud to say i'm a part of this show. i'm honored to work with these people. there's an intoxicating professionalism in the cast, energizing me and challenging me to do my best. it's not something always found in community theatre. i can see now why cmt is widely respected in the city. of course, it's probably spoiled me for other companies....
details...tough to pick out moments. of the three performances, today's, oddly enough, was probably strongest. i say oddly because sunday matinees tend to be on the unresponsive side. but a lot of community theatre people were in the audience (a side effect of having fourteen million shows running this weekend - it's the only time they could see the show) and their energy kickstarted ours. always interesting how important the audience is in theatre. we do need them to be a part of the process, otherwise the show is loses the magic that can occur.
i'm not capturing this weekend well. will try again tomorrow. but i have to say, i am so glad i'm getting this chance to do this show. i've had the most amazing time so far. and i'm trying to not let the fact that it will all be over in a week seep in just yet. going to be strange to come next week when i don't have rehearsal, when i won't be seeing the cast on a regular basis. but that's something for another day.
hopefully my thoughts will gel more tomorrow....
Ɔ
Tunes: the magnetic fields - you're my only home
it's been, what, five years since my last musical, maybe six. my time with the mv players is a bit on the fuzzy side. i'd forgotten how much i missed it. the shows this weekend rocked. sure, we had our moments when focus was lost or lines were dropped or notes were missed. but seriously, we kicked major booty. i'm proud to say i'm a part of this show. i'm honored to work with these people. there's an intoxicating professionalism in the cast, energizing me and challenging me to do my best. it's not something always found in community theatre. i can see now why cmt is widely respected in the city. of course, it's probably spoiled me for other companies....
details...tough to pick out moments. of the three performances, today's, oddly enough, was probably strongest. i say oddly because sunday matinees tend to be on the unresponsive side. but a lot of community theatre people were in the audience (a side effect of having fourteen million shows running this weekend - it's the only time they could see the show) and their energy kickstarted ours. always interesting how important the audience is in theatre. we do need them to be a part of the process, otherwise the show is loses the magic that can occur.
i'm not capturing this weekend well. will try again tomorrow. but i have to say, i am so glad i'm getting this chance to do this show. i've had the most amazing time so far. and i'm trying to not let the fact that it will all be over in a week seep in just yet. going to be strange to come next week when i don't have rehearsal, when i won't be seeing the cast on a regular basis. but that's something for another day.
hopefully my thoughts will gel more tomorrow....
Ɔ
Tunes: the magnetic fields - you're my only home
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