1. Put your iPod on shuffle. (Or you can write whatever comes on the radio.)
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!
WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Love is Blindness - Cassandra Wilson
WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Hanging on to You - Jay Farrar
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Tear Off Your Own Head (It's a Doll Revolution) - Elvis Costello
WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Eric's Trip - Sonic Youth
WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Do You Love Me? - Clem Snide
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Brown Eyes - Red House Painters
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Things That Disappear - Rhett Miller
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Lie Still, Little Bottle - They Might Be Giants
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Slow and Steady - Pedro the Lion
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Wild Blue - The 77s
WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Well OK - Altar Boys
WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Another Song - Sam Phillips
WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Ticket to Ride - The Beatles
WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
A Girl in Port - Okkervil River
WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Way Over Yonder in the Minor Key
WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Be Still My Beating Heart - Sting
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Faded Flowers - Shriekback
WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
Gone - U2
HOW WILL YOU DIE?
Do Or Die - Dropkick Murphys
WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
The Little Cowboy- Erin McKeown
WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
Out of Control - U2
WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
Excuse Me While I Break My Own Heart - Whiskeytown
WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
Shaker - Yo La Tengo
WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
Hotwax - Beck
IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
Flugufrelsarinn - Sigur Ros
WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
Bad - U2
----------------
Now playing: U2 - Bad
via FoxyTunes
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Monday, November 24, 2008
getting what we deserve
This is always a goofy week. Two days of classes, with a good 15-20% of students already gone for the holidays. It's only school - why bother having my student show up? Anyway, today was easy - two bells of lab time, two bells of test taking. I even covered for Kurt who fell to the projectile vomiting his offspring passed along to him. The joys of childrearing.
As we enter this holiday season (and notice I said enter, as in not yet - holiday season doesn't start until Thanksgiving, ads and displays in grocery stores be damned), I'm feeling much like one of George Romero's creations - gruesome and slow with a desire to feed off the living. In other words, business as usual around ths blog. Hard to believe only a year ago I was anxiously anticipating the holiday season and the joys it would bring. Of course, this is before it all went spectacularly wrong.
Been pondering the word deserve lately from a multitude of sides. Rob brought this up during Thinspace a couple of weeks ago, how we're paralyzed by this word. Many of us think we haven't gotten what we deserve, that this world, our God, owes us. Health. Love. Wealth. Our hearts' desire. Many of us think we have gotten something we didn't deserve - a broken relationship, a shattered dream, a raw deal. And then there are those of us who believe we don't deserve anything - not comfort, not security, not success, not love. Where do these ideas come from? How is this concept of what we deserve formed within us? How do we come to such differing conclusion on what it is we deserve?
It will come as no surprise to my regular reader that my struggle is with the last of this unholy trinity - I've come to believe that I don't deserve anything. Check that - I don't deserve anything good in my life. My martyr complex is well-documented and this is part of that, I suppose - we are created for suffering, not for pleasure; we should meet suffering with the same joy we meet blessing; we should not be surprised or saddened when disappointment enters our lives. While I know intellectually this is a steaming pile of feces, emotionally it continues to cripple me. It's difficult to live passionately when you not only expect life to suck, but believe that's the way life is supposed to be. It's hard to hold on to the things you love when you don't believe they're truly yours.
Strangely enough, my view on this works the other way for other people. I see my friends suffering through illness and job anxiety and divorce and believe they don't deserve to be going through all that. And even when the suffering comes from their own choices, I find myself wishing the consequences away, asking for God's grace to step in, to bring them joy. Why can I not do this for myself? Why is God's grace good enough for them but not for me?
Too often we reduce grace to this idea of what we deserve - we all deserve to be punished for our sins and shortcomings, but God gives grace and takes away the punishment. He's the great executioner deciding not to drop the axe on our deserving necks. But this makes grace no more than a means to an end - a way to avoid what should happen to us. But I don't believe God desires this utilitarian view of grace. Grace isn't ultimately about us - it's ultimately about how God interacts with His creation, fallen as it may be. God doesn't just extend grace to us - He is grace to us.
I pray I can remember that this holiday season. I pray we all can remember that.
Æ
----------------
Now playing: Neko Case - Christmas Card from a Hooker in Minneapolis
via FoxyTunes
As we enter this holiday season (and notice I said enter, as in not yet - holiday season doesn't start until Thanksgiving, ads and displays in grocery stores be damned), I'm feeling much like one of George Romero's creations - gruesome and slow with a desire to feed off the living. In other words, business as usual around ths blog. Hard to believe only a year ago I was anxiously anticipating the holiday season and the joys it would bring. Of course, this is before it all went spectacularly wrong.
Been pondering the word deserve lately from a multitude of sides. Rob brought this up during Thinspace a couple of weeks ago, how we're paralyzed by this word. Many of us think we haven't gotten what we deserve, that this world, our God, owes us. Health. Love. Wealth. Our hearts' desire. Many of us think we have gotten something we didn't deserve - a broken relationship, a shattered dream, a raw deal. And then there are those of us who believe we don't deserve anything - not comfort, not security, not success, not love. Where do these ideas come from? How is this concept of what we deserve formed within us? How do we come to such differing conclusion on what it is we deserve?
It will come as no surprise to my regular reader that my struggle is with the last of this unholy trinity - I've come to believe that I don't deserve anything. Check that - I don't deserve anything good in my life. My martyr complex is well-documented and this is part of that, I suppose - we are created for suffering, not for pleasure; we should meet suffering with the same joy we meet blessing; we should not be surprised or saddened when disappointment enters our lives. While I know intellectually this is a steaming pile of feces, emotionally it continues to cripple me. It's difficult to live passionately when you not only expect life to suck, but believe that's the way life is supposed to be. It's hard to hold on to the things you love when you don't believe they're truly yours.
Strangely enough, my view on this works the other way for other people. I see my friends suffering through illness and job anxiety and divorce and believe they don't deserve to be going through all that. And even when the suffering comes from their own choices, I find myself wishing the consequences away, asking for God's grace to step in, to bring them joy. Why can I not do this for myself? Why is God's grace good enough for them but not for me?
Too often we reduce grace to this idea of what we deserve - we all deserve to be punished for our sins and shortcomings, but God gives grace and takes away the punishment. He's the great executioner deciding not to drop the axe on our deserving necks. But this makes grace no more than a means to an end - a way to avoid what should happen to us. But I don't believe God desires this utilitarian view of grace. Grace isn't ultimately about us - it's ultimately about how God interacts with His creation, fallen as it may be. God doesn't just extend grace to us - He is grace to us.
I pray I can remember that this holiday season. I pray we all can remember that.
Æ
----------------
Now playing: Neko Case - Christmas Card from a Hooker in Minneapolis
via FoxyTunes
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