rory finally returned to me yesterday after a long absence. at first i thought i missed it - she came via usps and a note was left saying i could pick it up today. but the postman was still in the neighborhood, so i thought i might get it from him. turns out he had already taken it back to the post office, so i walked down and picked her up. then i spent most of last evening putting together the background dinner music. not your traditional wedding stuff, but i like it. have 68 songs at the moment - been listening to it to see if the songs work. will probably just shuffle, unless sarah would prefer a set order. next up is the dance music, which will be trickier. definitely not my forte, though i should be able to put something decent together. won't be too much from the last decade, but most of us are around my age so i don' t think it will be a problem.
afraid i'm not going to get everything done this week - so much to do, so little time. have to do some laundry. have to finish the music. have to pack. have to get lesson plans together. have to make dinner for house church tonight. have to have something to talk about for house church tonight. have to have to have to. it'll all get done somehow, though i get the feeling there won't be much sleep over the next week or so.
went to the doctor last thursday - been having these strange episodes where my diaphragm tightened up and my lower back ached. happened twice early in the morning, but happened the saturday before my birthday in the middle of the day. i pop a couple of ibuprofen and lie down and feel better, but figured i should get it checked. doctor didn't find anything wrong initially - heart ekg is good, blood work is good. so i get to go in a week to get an ultrasound (watch me be pregnant), an x-ray and an upper GI. best guess: gall bladder. dad said he had similar symptoms when he had problems. here's hoping it's easily taken care of.
read the following from dickinson to my classes yesterday - seemed appropriate.
My life closed twice before its close;
It yet remains to see
If Immortality unveil
A third event to me,
So huge, so hopeless to conceive,
As these that twice befell.
Parting is all we know of heaven,
And all we need of hell.
saw grindhouse friday night and all i kept thinking was, "jeremy would have loved this." i think i actually enjoyed rodriguez's half more than tarantino's. he gave himself over to the genre more. and as kurt mentioned on the way out, tarantino has some pacing problems - he's often too enamored by the sound of his dialogue. i had similar issues with jackie brown (though not with kill bill, strangely enough). definitely not a movie for everyone - they jump right in and play around with the genre, splashing enough blood and gore around for three or four movies. but such a great night at the theater - two for the price of one and everyone in the theater seemed to be having a great time. i know i was. not the most spiritual way to spend good friday, but i certainly appreciated the distraction after the week.
kat asked me last night how i was doing and i honestly feel fine, though i think it might be because i haven't allowed myself to process it. or i'm knee-deep in denial. i get the feeling the 9+ hour trip to philadelphia could seem even longer. i used to worry that i wouldn't be able to help someone else grieve because i'd never really lost someone close to me. and now that i have, i'm not sure i'm any better off than i was. i thought there'd be that moment of "ah, now i understand what people go through." but i'm still as foggy and discombobulated as i was when i first heard. maybe wisdom will come later.
well, i've wasted enough time here. half an hour more and i can go home. still no idea what i'm doing tonight for house church. maybe God will drop a meal on my doorstep....:)
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tunes: nick drake - cello song
