betrayal

my body betrayed me this weekend. i had it all worked out - a trip up to columbus, a lunch with susie, another dinner at the thurman cafe, then home on this super-sized day (you did remember to set your clocks back right?). and then my body decided to get lazy and not stop the lovely bronchitis virus from coming back in to set up residence in my body again. started exactly the same way - swallowing burning gravel for a day, followed by a slow migration to my lungs and a sense my head was going to explode. lovely. i hoped it would go away, but i should have known i would not be so lucky. ah well, there's always the future....

another day off school - hated to do it, but i was in no shape to teach. and it did give me a chance to catch up on my reading - i finished my U2 by U2 book. fun and entertaining read, though i would have preferred a little less about bono's humanitarian efforts. i admire what he's done, but i'm more interested in the band. of course now i find myself with nothing to read. never a good thing. need to get the new lemony snicket, but haven't found the time. plus, i'll want to read it right away and those pesky OGT practice writing tests are waiting.

saw The Prestige tonight. good movie, though the pacing was a bit slow for my taste. and i figured out part of the plot a bit early, which kind of spoiled some of the movie because i couldn't figure out if i was supposed to know yet or if i was supposed to still be in the dark. excellent performances by all involved, though the more i see of scarlett johansson, the less impressed i am (and i mean that in an acting sense, not in a more flesh sense). she's not a bad actress, but there's not a lot of variety there. yet. but she's still young. i'd recommend seeing it. makes me want to read the book, though, see how the author paced it. and when he let the audience behind the curtain.

ever had an idea that seemed good at the time, but then once it became an actuality, you realized you'd made a mistake? did that at school. for department meetings we split into different groups to focus on different issues and i suggested we have one group dedicated to improving our own writing, and then using what we learned to help our students become better writers. sounded like a good idea, but now i realize i have to actually produce something. i'm hoping the deadline will light a spark under me, but i worry i'll show up on the day of and have nothing, or only have stuff i worked on ages ago. and what kind of stuff should i bring? i'm most comfortable with poetry, but perhaps i should push myself and do a short story? work on a novel? a play? see what i've gotten myself into?

interesting times on blogs i read. for an encouraging tale, check out mike and andrea's blog about andrea's battle with Key-Mo, as she calls it. so strong, so positive. i love them lots. then for another difficult battle, check out chris's blog. what is our responsibility to any particular "church?" do we stay to help make it more Godlike? or do we seek out a church we feel is already moving in that direction? he has excellent thoughts - follow the comments, though, to get a taste of the dilemma.

been having my own thoughts about church lately, but the hour is growing late (relatively, since we get the extra hour tonight, but still feeling a bit out of it), so they'll have to wait for another time. and yes, i know, i shouldn't mention it if i'm not going to talk about it. but i gotta give you a reason to come back for another read, right?

off to take advantage of the extra hour of sleep, assuming i can actually fall asleep. afraid the drugs i'm on will keep me up late again. night.
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Tunes: neil young - cinnamon girl

it's gone, gone, gone

whoa-oh whoa-oh whoa

after weeks of waiting, i finally got into heaven and, disgusted with the current state of the dead skin follicles on top of my head, i decided to give up ever having cool, long hair. so i had ashley take the scissors and lighten the load. snip snip snip and now my hair is much shorter and, for the first time in my adult life, brushed forward, not backward into what is known as "the caesar." et tu brute. i like it, though i worry about being able to recreate the look tomorrow morning after my morning shower. but at least the mullet/helmet head/afro is gone now.

we moved house church tonight to the novotnis to help them meet some citybeat deadlines. no skin off my elbow - saves me from having to do a quickie scouring of the place. we can do breakfast another night. plus, i'm guessing we'll get out a bit earlier than last week (10:30), which means my evening won't be quite so late. i love the conversation, but oy the 5:00AM alarm.

update: lunch with susie was wonderful. we went to the blue gibbon and our waiter was...wacky is the only way to describe him. terribly amusing, though bordering on obnoxious at times. but the food was tasty (though it's still weird to me to have lettuce with asian food) and the conversation fun. we hit graeters afterwards for some palate cleaning apple cider sorbet and more conversation. and then i showed her my tree (not like that, ya sick perverts) and we said our goodbyes. a successful second date.

i think.

see, here's where the wheels come off. i lack the experience and/or skills to do whatever i'm supposed to to move from where we are to where i'd like to be. part of that is not knowing if she would like to move to where i'd like to be, but mostly it's being unclear what to do next. do i say something? do something? let it develop naturally? 'cause i've tried the last one before and i always seem to end up stuck in "the friend zone." and while i like the friend zone, for once i'd like that to not be the default setting.

ok, need to spend a couple more minutes looking for the software i got with my new computer so i can effectively clean karla to donate to the havens. i know it's somewhere in this office. of course, i couldn't find it when i searched for it the other night. keeping my fingers crossed....
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Tunes: garbage - temptation waits