what in the name of all that is holy

am i doing up at this hour?

for the record, it was indeed only intermission when allen came in. the concert lasted until after 1:00 AM. at least everyone left in a timely manner. unfortunately, this included anyone to help with tear down and since i had to wait until the lone sound guy was able to get all of his stuff torn down and onto his truck, i didn't leave mason until around 3:30AM.

this is ridiculous.

allen had an excellent suggestion - from now on, if an event runs over by more than an hour, then we should get time and a half. or double time. or triple time. geesh, glad i didn't have anything else planned for the evening. what if i had made plans to meet up with friends at a bar after the gig? (unlikely, i know, but still) it didn't seem to bother them that they had gone over, that they basically were holding five people's lives hostage (i'm including the custodians in this as well).

of course, the extra four hours of pay will help.

Easter saturday is always a bit odd. falling between the darkness of good friday and the celebration of resurrection morning, it's a day ripe for contemplation. it seems a bit off kilter to be running errands, working, visiting. should be a day for mourning, of remembrance. but this is the way life is, no? we must continue on with life. i think of the deaths during this lenten time, chad and mark, and remember how sometimes doing the mundane daily activities helped to take my mind off the sadness. those simple moments of every day life reminded me that life goes on, as cheesy as that may sound.

the question becomes, then, how do i spend the day? alone or with friends? i'm leaning toward alone (gee, big surprise there). must go to lowes. going to head to sam ash to get some strings. maybe over to cincinnati mills to finally buy some steelers super bowl paraphernalia might shop a bit for my new birks. lots of consumerism. but then, i did earn an unexpected extra $100 last night.

we'll debate the selfishness of spending it all on myself at another time.

looks to be a beautiful day outside. here's hoping i can stay awake for it....
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ps one more day 'til the tunes return. woohoo!

'twas bound to happen

i was outed last night.

cast went out to hamburger mary's last night for a little "maryoke" after rehearsal. lots of singing. many adult beverages. and the best burger i've had in a long time. i even found a karaoke song that didn't have a four minute instrumental - weird al's "one more minute."

so anyway, we're hanging around, crammed against the wall my the masses of humanity gathered there and robert, slightly inebriated, asks if he can ask me a personal question. uh oh, i thought to myself. here it comes. been wondering when someone would finally ask. he was quite polite, not wanting to offend me. said he knew where everyone else stood, but couldn't figure me out, so he figured he'd just ask.

so, are you gay or straight?

finally. i didn't have to hide in the dark any longer. i could let the truth be known, squash all the rumours and wonderings. no more secrets. no more silence. i took a deep breath.

straight. definitely straight.

he apologized for asking, not that i really cared. i mean, in this day and age, when anything is possible, it's a reasonable question i suppose. and it's not like i give off many clues one way or another. or if i do, i certainly don't mean to. or recognize that i do. which is part of the problem perhaps. if it's a problem at all.

i found it funny. which is why i share.

am sitting at mms auditorium while the hindu society of cincinnati holds a fundraising concert for their new cultural arts center. supposed to end at midnight, but i don't see that happening. concerts still going (it's now after 11) and they still have food to eat afterwards. i could easily see this pushing 1am. contrary to my best intentions, i got no grading done. just not in the right place is the excuse i'm going with. not much sleep last night, between mary's and the party going on down the street and the thunderstorms that rolled through early this morning. hopefully tonight is much better. i did finish of the da vinci code. definitely a well-written mystery. as for the "reveations" the book gives, they didn't affect me much one way or another. raises interesting questions on what i might do if i did discover all i believed was built on lies, but not much beyond that. i don't doubt there has been corruption in the church throughout the ages - it is a human institution, after all. and i know we've lost touch with much of the sacred feminine in church history. but too many flaws in the theory proposed byt he book to take it as more than an interesting diversion.

candice and her friend amy came down to the 'wood this afternoon to walk through via crucis with me. good to wander through the stations, though doing so during the day definitely gave it a different feel. am hoping to walk through them again tomorrow night, before it comes to an end. some powerful moments. plenty to ponder. just wish i'd had more time to process it with candice. but there'll be time later.

no plans for tomorrow, nothing solid at least. a movie, perhaps? cleaning the house? a trip to lowes? have decided i need to buy a new pair of birks - the pair i have (which i'm convinced aren't true birks, but cheap knockoffs - 'tis what i get for using ebay) are slowly disintegrating. need a real pair, one that will last. will probably see what i find at the local birk store. i'm afraid the price might freak me out -but then, this is why i subject myself to things like tonight, right?

sounds like it might be winding down. i am so not getting out of here by midnight. alas. but at least i don't have to get up tomorrow.

allen just came in and said they just announced a ten minute intermission. this is my punishment for being greedy.

ok, enough for now. night!
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i'm a REAL teacher now

the long nightmare is over, at least for a year or so. mason was suitably impressed by the changes i made in my classroom management and as of last friday, i have been offered not the measly one year but a two year contract. whew. good to be validated, good to know i'll be able to keep making rent....er, mortgage payments for at least two more years. i even was rated distinguished (the highest rating) in a couple of categories. excellent.

via crucis began last night at st. e's. if you're in the cincy area, you really need to come experience it - open 11 to 11 daily through saturday. i think. geesh, i guess i should check on that. though actually, maybe i should experience it myself first. wasn't in the right space yesterday. rehearsal ran long tonight. no rush - i'm sure i'll find time before it's over. aaron has good things to say about it if you're interested. we've talked about the "weight" of the space in st. e's and i experienced it again last night. definitely a thin space. looking forward to spending some time there soon.

looks like i'll be heading to kent on the 22nd. not sure who i'll get to see, but jenna and lauri have both responded. hopefully i'll be able to hook up with courtney and jen as well. could be quite the long day, unless i decide to drive halfway there friday night. will have to see what steve is up to and if angela would let me show up late and crash in the guest room. probably a crazy thing to do, but been needing my kent fix (and if we can squeeze in a trip to ray's, all the better).

finished geisha. beautiful book. sayuri is a glorious character and feels real. have moved on to the curious incident of the dog in the nighttime. about 2/3 of the way through. so wish i could use it in my classroom, but alas, they drop the F bomb way too much. ah well. maybe i could use excerpts or something.

started a poem last night - my first in a while. but my metaphors kept battling for supremacy so i think i'm going to have to choose one and start over. gives me something to do over break.

three more days. three more days.

kenny asked me yesterday what i'd been thinking about the most lately. and i said something about the compression of time and how it seems to be disappearing far faster than i can keep up. i know it's the time of year and all (plus being involved with the musical and basically working a second job at the auditorium), but more and more i reach the end of the day exhausted with no understanding of exactly how i got to the end. life is blurring and i feel i'm only getting an impression of life, not the ever-important details. hopefully next week will give me the chance to slow down, reorient myself a bit. that's the goal, anyway.

took the new-to-me lawnmower out for her first spin today. took about 45 minutes to finish the job (not counting the having to find a gas can - graciously donated by homer, my across-the-street neighbor - and get some gas to get her to work). couldn't seem to keep my lines straight - i say the lawn is off kilter. couldn't be operator error, right?

sleep calls. tomorrow is peer editing. here's hoping i don't have too many students without some sort of rough draft. they've had plenty of opportunity to get something together. still, you'd be surprised how many won't have anything. or maybe you wouldn't be surprised. i know i'm not any more.

goodnight.
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