what to do

'twas headed out for publicity photos for midsummer (yes, it appears i will be on this year's poster, albeit wearing an asses head) when judy called and said they're going to hold off because of the thunderstorms rolling through the area. so now i find myself with nothing planned for the evening - not necessarily a bad situation - i'm reaching the end of obsession (ED: heh. actually, it's possession. wonder where my head is...) and could conceivably finish it off. will probably stay in and eat dinner here, though the draw of going out somewhere is strong. must...fight...it....

confession time: i'm a world cup junkie. been watching as many matches as i could lately, including today's disappointing match between usa and ghana. the americans just didn't seem to want it, or didn't have the right scheme to get it. got to watch with brandon dawson and julie thompson as neither of them have espn. fun having company over (and yes, i know, i should do it more often), even with the disappointing outcome. i'm drawn to soccer because it's all about process - the very reason it probably will never be popular in here in the states. we're all about ends, the means be damned. me, i love watching the game develop, even if it doesn't end in a goal. journey vs destination. and for me, a 0-0 tie is much more interesting to watch than most baseball games. it's not all about scoring (again, insert your own joke at my expense here).

speaking of jokes at my expense, alexa brought up an interesting point about self-deprecating humor, that there is usually a grain of truth there. perhaps. but sometimes the jokes are too easy to let go by. and i learned long ago, best to make fun of yourself first than to let someone else beat you to the punch. which raises another point i've been pondering since my blathering this past weekend. lori commented: "Do you think that introverts tend to have distorted self images because they lack many of the human interactions which give them a better mirror of who they really are?" my first answer is no, at least not in my experience, basically because i'm not sure how clear a mirror other people are of who we actually are. or maybe it's because i'm uncomfortable with the image reflected back at me. i know i've often been startled by what others thought of me, especially what others thought i thought/believed. maybe it's because introverts tend to be more guarded and so the image presented isn't truly who they are and thus the reflection is veiled. and it's not like introverts have no human interactions - they just tend not to seek them out as readily as extroverts.

i do believe we need others to help us with our blind spots, to point out those qualities, both good and bad, that we are unable to see in ourselves. but we must also be careful to realize that others can only know us so well - no one is us - no one sees the world exactly as we do - no one has experienced this glorious life the same as we do. and while we do well to walk a mile in one another's shoes, we still may never claim we know what it is like to be someone else.

bet you're wishing my pictures wouldn't have been canceled....

weekend should be interesting - well, profitable, anyway. my only responsibility tomorrow is an eye appointment. then saturday i will literally be spending all day at the auditorium - 8:00am-11:00pm. maybe not the best way to spend a saturday, but that's 15 hours of extra money on my paycheck - well worth the sacrifice. and it's at the high school, which means i'll be able to watch dvds in the comfort of jack's office. maybe i should make a trip to the library tomorrow, pick up some stuff to watch.

gone. faretheewell.
Æ

Tunes: big star - what's going ahn?