Joy! I'm in a row by myself - the businessman assigned to the seat next to me moved to an empty row. I was toying with the same, but being by the window made it a bit trickier to offer. Amazing how much better a trip can be when you can cross your legs.
E-mail from Brenda today - seems she might be in Cincy end of August and we're going to try and do dinner. She said we'd try and avoid talking about remarriage and divorce, though she did read my post and said I made a persuasive argument. Me, I'm still dealing with my own recent doubts. I wonder what love requires. Brent boiled it down to John 3:16 and love, which raises more questions in my head than it answers. What is the most loving action? Does love mean we can ignore the teachings of Christ? How do we determine if it's God's love or our own desires? We humans can rationalize anything - I know I don't trust myself to know what is most loving in a given situation. I'm more likely to go with my will than God's. Which I suppose is why I'm trying to sort this out now, relying on "religious dogma," instead of waiting until a situation arises.
Or maybe I'm just in avoidance mode.
The sun sets behind me and along with it my journey west. Was tough to leave - though I am looking forward to my own bed, I can't say I'm excited to be coming back to Ohio, with its heat and humidity and bugs and lack of mountains. I wonder how different life would be if I'd ended up in Colorado for grad school. Perhaps I'd have ended up back in Ohio anyway. I think part of my heart will always long to be in the mountains. They heal me and cleanse me in ways I do not understand. I know God can do the same in Ohio - I need to find those spaces. And I need to use them.
Will be interesting to see how sleep goes when I get back. Toward the end I was sleeping seven hours a night, give or take. Of course, I was on mountain time, so I was going to bed at 2-3 AM normal time some nights. Hard to believe I've only a couple weeks to get my act together. Where did my summer break go?
Still, lots to do before the 18th - gall bladder surgery, MST3K party, King's X/Extreme concert, trip to Kent, plus house church and flash fiction and as many activities as I can jam into my remaining time. Have to say though - this trip to Colorado certainly pushed this summer over the memorable edge. Glad I did it. thankful for friends who are willing to let me crash their lives for days at a time. Couldn't have asked for better hosts.
Another hour, hour and a half before we land. Think I'll try to read some and maybe drift off to sleep. Jen and James are supposed to pick me up - dad's still in the hospital. Hope they figure out what's wrong with him soon. He ate yesterday, which is a good sign. Night.
Æ
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment