final thoughts

on my way to usher in the new year with elizabeth. i leave 2005 with some haikus from yesterday's walk around mt. airy and a prayer from thomas merton. goodbye 05. here's to 06.
Æ

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luminous she seeks
darkened corners desperately
needing connection

gnarled fallen fingers
stretch to touch the stilled waters
lost beneath the leaves

i'm looking forward
hoping the past won't sneak up
to steal what waits there

cuts left by lovers
seeking immortality
heal year by rough year

do you feel these scars
callously inflicted by
our selfish passion

white blurs mistaken
for mere humans running through
your forest stillness

our violent natures
lie splattered against nature's
peaceful solemness

in my solitude
reminders assail my thoughts
of our falleness

how long will it take
before fallen majesty
deteriorates

blackened former life
shows what lies just below these
multicolored leaves

an idea forms
wishing to be whispered to
distance unaware

barren winter woods
breathe secrets unheard amidst
autumn's lost glory

you watch curious
unmoved waiting wondering
whose stare will break first

i climb the stone stair
stopping for lack of breath while
destiny divides

i will never love
another, i swear, until
her eyes eclipse yours

these spidered limbs creep
from beneath this web of leaves
dessicated, dead

trees full of dead leaves
whisper rejections to the
jealous forest floor
***********************************

My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going.
I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain
where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that
I think I am following Your will does not mean that I am
actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please You
does in fact please You. And I hope I have that desire in all that
I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that
desire. And I know that, if I do this, You will lead me by the
right road, though I may know nothing about it. Therefore I
will trust You always though I may seem to be lost and in the
shadow of death. I will not fear, for You are ever with me, and
You will never leave me to face my perils alone.
Thoughts in Solitude

Tunes: david bowie - young americans