the good side of media hype

so many wild predictions of what is going to happen tomorrow (no precipitation! freezing rain! 14 inches!) have led TPTB at mason to start us off on a two-hour delay tomorrow, which is probably a wise choice - better to wait and see then to have students try to drive in inclement weather or get to school and find ourselves stuck by the weather. me, i'm convinced we'll get nothing. or at least i'm trying to convince myself we'll get nothing, if only because then, if we do get something, i'll be pleasantly surprised and not disappointed. ye olde pessimism defense mechanism - if you always expect the worst, at least you're never disappointed. which i'm first to admit, is a crappy way of living life.

i struggle between the poles of optimism and pessimism. strangely enough, my natural inclination is toward a guarded optimism - i do believe tomorrow can be better than today, that love could wait around the next corner, that the experiences coming could be as wonderful as those past - but my most common outward expressions are pessimistic in nature. again, trying to protect myself from disappointment. but what if what i think of as protection is only keeping possibility at bay? what if this wall keeps not only the bad out but the good as well? but then when i open up the wall, it seems the bad comes stampeding in, leaving me unable to appreciate the good all around me.

there i go, overthinking things again.

it's actually tomorrow now - started this last night and lost my momentum, so decided to see if i could pick it up again. and see, my philosophy worked - what a great feeling to get a call in the middle of morning prayers letting me know we were taking a whole day instead of just two hours. just need to make sure i use this extra time wisely - will head down in just a bit to finish off the mockingbird tests and get started on the next set of essays - i just hope they're better.

"The heart is hopelessly dark and deceitful,
a puzzle that no one can figure out.
But I, God, search the heart
and examine the mind.
I get to the heart of the human.
I get to the root of things.
I treat them as they really are,
not as they pretend to be."

found it an interesting juxtaposition that this was one of the lectionary scriptures for this week, it being VD and all tomorrow. i like the balance of this verse - God searches both the heart and the mind. too often we rely on one to the detriment of the other. the problem is, most of us are more comfortable with one than the other. though i'd like to think i rely more on my heart, i usually think too much about things. wonder what would happen if i gave my heart a bit more space to roam. how might my life be different? but if the heart is dark and deceitful (and hopelessly so), how can we trust it? questions for another time.

time to grade. stay safe out there, those caught in this wonderful weather. me, i'm not going back out if i don't have to, mostly because i'll probably get stuck in my driveway again like i did this morning. seriously, my driveway isn't that steep, yet poor lorelai can't seem to navigate it. little frustrating. but she's safe and warm in the garage and will stay there until i need to drive again, hopefully tomorrow morning....or maybe even thursday.....
Æ


Tunes: the go-go's - head over heels