damn you, tom petty

tap...tap...tap...no news yet. the more time that passes the less i believe i got the part. just seems if they were replacing someone they'd want to have that replacement as soon as possible. of course, maybe they're waiting on someone else before they make a decision. we'll see. just wish i knew so i could get this stupid song out of my head...

my school day is mostly over - sent my fourth bell to lunch, they'll come back, i'll take attendance and then they're off to the carnival. i still haven't decided what to do. figure i'll take my stuff and wander down, see if they need any help. if it looks like they've got things covered, i'll simply head out to the car and head home. plenty to do there. i only wish i had my mp3 player - always helps to have music when i'm cleaning. maybe i'll just blast my stereo, thereby annoying the neighbors.

ran across this quote this week:

Bright Sadness is the true message and gift of Lent: ... the sadness of my exile, of the waste I have made of my life; the brightness of God's presence and forgiveness, the joy of the recovered desire for God, the peace of the recovered home. Such is the climate of Lenten worship; such is its first and general impact on my soul.
- Alexander Schmemannfrom "Great Lent"

i've found this to be true so far this season. there is a sadness to the season, from the trivial to the sublime. i am sad i cannot run down and grab something to eat right now. i'm sad when i think about the gluttony i indulge in on a regular basis. i'm sad when i think how eating one meal a day is normal for so many people on this earth - and for some, it's even less. i'm sad when i think of Christ's sacrifice and what He went through. i'm sad how often i take that sacrifice for granted.

but the presence of God i've experienced so far, the heightened awareness of His glory all around me, the brightness that comes when i finally am able to eat again, shines an oblique light on the sadness. i was joking with andy yesterday that my fast hasn't led to any physical benefits - nothing like eating at 8:00 at night after not eating all day to screw up your metabolism - and he reminded me that the other benefits are far more important. which, of course, i know. but again, it's not that i'm being holier or am closer to God - i'm just far more aware of how close He is to me.

still no phone call. guess God wants to teach me some patience this Lenten season as well...
Æ