welcome to the nether realm of the devil and the demons in which the damned suffer everlasting punishment week

i must do this now, while my state of mind is such that i can actually string words together into sentences without ending up blithering on and on. yesterday began the run up to opening night this coming friday - 3 1/2 hours of loading set pieces and flats onto the 53 ft. semi-truck in preparation for load in today, which meant spending the afternoon flying the plethora of set pieces up and out. five hours and i could have stayed longer, but i already know i'll be getting no sleep this week, so i figured i would take it easy tonight and relax. tomorrow my students will take my into the wild test and tuesday we'll finish watching the film (edited courtesy of the filmslayer). and wednesday starts mockingbird. should be loads of fun. now if i can just find time to mow my lawn...

found the free movie pass i thought i'd lost last night, so i used it to watch iron man. excellent comic book flick. robert downey jr. gives a marvelous performance as tony stark. brilliant casting, that. wasn't supersaturated with cgi, which helped in my enjoyment. and the cgi that was there wasn't distracting. helped that the screenplay moved along quickly without the minimum number of typical comic book hero cliché. saw it in a mostly full theater, other than the four seats immediately to the left and right of me. guess no one wanted to sit next to the scary bearded guy in the third row. more room for me, though it did feel a bit awkward at times. didn't help that i was seated directly under a light. i'm sure it looked hilarious. kept reminding me of the "alternate lifestyle" comment from baby mama.

truth is, i've been feeling a bit isolated lately. mostly my own fault - sometimes i'm so comfortable being on my own that i don't think to invite others along to do things. i always assume everyone else has plans already so it will do no good to ask/invite (please, spare me the assume speech). i can't decide if my ability to be alone is a blessing or a curse. sometimes i feel it's a gift of freedom. sometimes i feel it's a prison of selfishness. right now i feel afraid i've fallen into a place of comfortableness with no impetus to change. i fear it's too late now for me to change and the odds of me finding someone to break me out of my cycle of singleness are slim to none. this isn't hopelessness - at least it doesn't feel like it - but more a realization of reality. but i haven't decided if it's an unchangeable reality.

ok, need to go and try to wind down, catch up on some waiting emails before all the nether realm of the devil and the demons in which the damned suffer everlasting punishment breaks loose. see you....sometime.
Æ

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Now playing: My Morning Jacket - Gideon
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