so it's my wedding weekend and the wedding party has gathered on the shore of some lake, obviously along the canadian border since we keep making jokes about canada being far too close on the other side of the lake. a large canopied tent is set up, similar to what you see at an outdoor concert, complete with a stage and sound system. we have just finished the actual rehearsal part of the dinner and are gathering to go and have dinner. i am surrounded by my house church, most of whom are part of the wedding party or officiating at the wedding. my bride is....amorphous, changing from one scene to the next. the whole affair has a thrown together feel to it, like this is spur of the moment, unorganized. as we begin to head to the dinner, a sense of uneasiness settles in. i feel this is all moving much too quickly, that i'm not ready for this, that too much is not right. we get to where the dinner is to be held, which from all appearances seems to be the lounge of some bowling alley, complete with orange booths and greasy food. i look around at those gathered and realize so many people are missing, which only adds to my anxiety. the members of my house church seem somewhat oblivious to how i am feeling, going on about how wonderful it all will be, how excited they are to be a part. my future wife is no where to be seen.
cut to the next day, my wedding day, and my trepidation has reached new heights. i know what i have to do - i have to call it off, i can't do this. but i know how disappointed everyone will be and i'm afraid of the repercussions, so i hesitate saying anything, especially since guests have started to arrive. but nothing is right - the person presiding isn't ordained, my parents haven't been invited and, for a brief moment, it appears my future bride is my sister (but only for that brief moment). so i am trying to talk to someone who will help push me in the right direction, but everyone's too involved in preparing for the ceremony to listen. and though i know everyone will be upset and my poor bride (whoever she is) will be devastated, i know i can't do this. so i begin to walk away....
....and at that moment i woke up.
lovely way to start a saturday.
Æ
Tunes: charlie peacock - lie down in the grass
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1 comment:
wow,
(um, that's really all I can think of...thank you, mvnu, for the psych degree. I am useless!)
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