chess has left the building

first, a tidbit from last night....

i feel i am stuck in the end of eternal sunshine, as all of joel's memories are erased as he experiences them. as each scene tonight ends, it's like watching them dissolve into nothingness, never to be seen again. and by the end of the night, when the lights come up, nothing will remain of this experience.

yes, i'm a bit melancholy. no surprise there.

the show is gong well, other than some minor mishaps - glasses breaking, yogurt spilling, the like. feels like a good show to tape, which they are doing tonight. i'm in the middle of my act ii wilderness, waiting for "you and i" to start so i know to grab my jacket to go down and be menacing.

less than an hour left. of the show, anyway. then another 2-4 hours of strike. there was talk of doing shanghai mama's after the strike, but it closes at 3am and i fear we won't be done in time.

there it is, my cue. time to go manhandle some leading ladies for the last time.
_________________________

'tis now sunday, early evening. just woke from a much needed nap and am actively avoiding the stack of grading i need to work on tonight. much easier to avoid than my thoughts. woke this afternoon to this thought: i will never get to do this again. cmt chose 42nd street to excerpt, so last night truly was the end.

this is a mistake. i can't do this right now. 'twill benefit no one, especially me. i'll process some other time. will just make things worse if i do it now. need to find some other way to deal with dull ache inside (and yes, i know, i'm being melodramatic. sue me).

mother's day was lovely, though i felt bad for mom because i was so completely out of it today. will make up for it when she comes down to aveda to get her hair done - lunch, running around, that sort of thing. mistimed the drive and ended up about 30 minutes early, which let me take a quick nap before the rest of the fam arrived. abuelos was ok for a chain, though not nearly as good as jalepenos. queso was like melted velveeta, chicken tasted out of can, chips were a bit thin and greasy for my taste. but definitely am still full from lunch.

i had so many thoughts running through my head today on the drive to dayton and back, but of course none of them are readily accessible at the moment. or currently fit for consumption.

yeah, i'm going to go. this was a bad idea.
Æ

Tunes: x - home motel