things that make you lose your faith

just returned from watching the da vinci code. pretty much what i anticipated - the movie managed to mangle a cinematic book and make it into an uninvolving movie. it's not a bad movie, but certainly not worth all the hype. as for all the naysayers and boycotters out there - sorry guys, this movie isn't worth your effort. this movie (and the book, for that matter) is not heretical and is not a danger to true faith. one, for the obvious-impaired - it's fiction. plain and simple. an interesting idea and a well-structured story, but still - not true. seriously, if this movie makes you question your faith, then your faith wasn't much to begin with. condescending? perhaps. but honestly, there's nothing there. the claims of the story are ridiculous and laughable with little basis in reality. the fact that so many have latched onto this idea as viable proves to me the church has screwed up. if people are more willing to believe this than what the church presents as the message of Christ, we're doing it wrong.

met some of the chess cast for the evening. good to see them again, and catch up ever so briefly. had intended to stick around afterwards, see if people wanted to go talk or whatever, but somehow i got separated and the next thing i knew i was in lorelai heading back to the grotto, after a brief stop at udf for some ice cream. mmmm....ice cream. i stuck around to watch the credits, so i missed a lot of what people thought of the movie - hopefully some of them will post to their blogs so i can catch up. thought about calling when i got home (i had no one's number in my phone, natch), but now that i'm here, it's probably best i just stay here. i was off my game tonight - my attempts at being social felt forced. i'm going to blame it on (the rain) the end of a long school week.

one more full week left. glorious.

the da vinci code might not cause me to lose my faith, but i got news this week that might. found out a friend of mine, a pastor, just turned in his credentials after being caught having an extramarital affair. no asking for forgiveness, no working things out with his wife, just that's enough for me, you can't hold me responsible, i'm going to go do my own thing. granted, that's how it appears and i don't know the whole story or what was involved and my prayer is this a temporary shutting himself off so he can figure things out.

i'm at a great disadvantage here. i have a difficult time wrapping my head around infidelity. lack of experience in any kind of serious relationship contributes to this - i mean, i've spent the majority of my adolescent/post-adolescent life in search of someone to share my life with, so it's hard for me to understand how someone, once they've found that, can simply walk away. or chase someone else. me, i hear someone's just dating someone else and the door slams shut and i know there's no use trying to reopen it. yes, i realize i'm abnormal. but it's hard to compare who has the greenest grass when all you want is a yard to call your own.

this happens way too often to those in ministry. i understand intellectually - as pastor, they are often put in positions of trust and it's easy for that relationship to slip, to have intentions misunderstood, to have divine love become confused with romantic love. but i don't buy the argument this is beyond our control - we still have free will, we are not slaves to our passions, we don't have to follow every impulse. somehow we've gotten it into our heads that if i feel it, it must be right. we scoff at the concept of denying ourselves anything - sex, possessions, double-dip ice cream cones.... we must have it all. we must have it now. it's what we were created for. it's what God would want.

again, how have we twisted God's message so much?

and trust me, this first stone in my hand is aimed right at my own head. i fall into this trap easily myself. and just because i'm not in a position to be unfaithful doesn't mean i too don't deny myself in other, less titilating ways.

long weekend - wwg meeting tomorrow morning (how do i always end up on committees with morning people?), then lc tomorrow afternoon, then off to see richie iii. worship sunday morning, then i'm working the auditorium for the mason community band sunday night, which i hope allows me time to get some grading done. ideally i'd like to be done with all my research papers by monday, but i get the sense that may not happen. i'll have to sit down and count how may there are to get done - i know it's bad, but i kind of hope some of them decided it wasn't worth the time - saves me time grading.

did i mention there are only eight more days with students left?

weird moment tonight - seems i left a poem of some sort in the copy of the da vinci code i borrowed from matt. not a big deal, except i have no idea what it was. no idea what it might say or what i might have been hoping to write about. there are so many bits of paper with fragments of ideas on them - who knows which one ended up in the book. hopefully nothing embarrassing....

well past the witching hour. i suppose i should start heading to bed. finished the book i was reading - perfume by suskind. well told tale, and grenouille is a fascinating character. and the idea of an olfactory genius plays out well in the novel. recommended. not sure what i'll move on to next. promised myself i would read don quixote finally this summer, but won't start that just yet. guess i could start reading over midsummers in preparation for the audition in a couple of weeks. forgot to check with allen to see how important call backs are - i have jesse's wedding that day up in lansing and i'd have to miss them. think i'm going to shoot for bottom, but i'll be happy just to be doing another show...

and now my left contact is trying desperately to jump out of my eye, so i should go. night.
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Tunes: tori amos - smells like teen spirit