Time to write again. Gee, it's the second day and already this sounds like a routine. I hope it doesn't end up being how it sounds. I honestly thought I wouldn't have much to talk about today. Hours upon hours of riding on a bus can be monotonous, especially when you write about it in a journal. But a couple of things have been going through my head. First is about my self-concept. And expectations. Actually, this silly journal has something to do with it. I think I think I'm some great thinker occasionally, that in the future people are going to read this and go, "Wow. What a deep person. And what fascinating insights into life he has." But more and more recently I'm realizing that I'm not as important as I think I am or will be or have been. I'm just (God forbid) AVERAGE. Well, maybe a little aove, but not too much. And that's scary. Funny thing is, I still think I could change it. And who knows, maybe I will. Right now I'm not doing near enough, if anything. And THAT'S scary. Life sucks when you don't live up to your own expectations.
But I think I'll stop floating around on that big sea of self-pity now. As I now write this, I'm farther West than I have ever been. I've been in Texas for the first time and by the time I write again tomorrow, I'll have seen the Grand Canyon (and there was much rejoicing). Actually, right now we're approx. 1000 miles from L.A. (ooh, exciting). Ah, but I digress.
We stopped at a mall in Amarillo, TX and were told to be back by 8:30 (Texas time, that is). Laurie, Mike and I were going to eat in the mall but decided (actually, our wallets decided) we'd eat at Burger King across the road. So we had a nice meal and then sat around talking for a while. Then about 8:10 (TX time) we decided to head back. What we didn't realize was taht everyone else had decided they wanted to go to another mall, since the one we'd stopped at was for the most part closed. So as we walked across the ice slickened streets of Amarillo, the bus, filled with all the other students who had be waiting for us to return so they could get to their shopping, drove toward us and picked us up. I had mixed feelings about it. We hadn't done anything wrong. I mean, how were we supposed to know everyone else wanted to blow the joint and that we were holding them up? Yet at the same time I felt guilty for making EVERYONE wait. In fact, I sat in the bus instead of going into the second mall because of it. But I'm still convinced I did nothing wrong. Ah, these pesky moral dilemmas. As I close, I thought I'd let whoever reads this know that Laurie has decided that she will not defecate for the entire month. Should be a L-O-N-G month. Æ
Tunes: shriekback - faded flowers
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