WARNING!
Reading this blog has made people want to kill themselves, so if you are easily depressed, perhaps you should find something more uplifting to do, like watch a Holocaust documentary or read a Cormac McCarthy novel.
Saturday, April 26, 2008
saturday
not sure if i'll bike tomorrow - feeling a little tired after my first ride of the season. but it would definitely help the parking situation. still officially on my mini-break, so no school stuff tomorrow, i could theoretically do it, but not sure i'll to leave that early to get there on time and then ride home afterwards. we'll see how i feel tomorrow.
tried watching a couple of "significant" films tonight i dvr'd this spring - nashville and the great dictator. wasn't in the mood to watch either of them. so instead i pulled out my newsradio season four, the one with my future wife lauren graham in it. such a funny show. jon lovitz was in the first episode and he rarely fails to make me laugh. something about his delivery kills me every time.
actually, not feeling much like writing at the moment. think i'll go watch some more newsradio before falling off to sleep. night.
Æ
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Now playing: Archers of Loaf - Sick File
via FoxyTunes
Friday, April 25, 2008
neglect
due to the student government state conference taking place at mason, we did not have school today. and i took a personal day yesterday, which means a wonderful four days of freedom. and i couldn't have picked a better couple of days, weather-wise. a little warm for my tastes, but then my "scandinavian" blood finds anything above 70 to be too warm (disclaimer: i have no idea if i'm scandinavian or not - i just prefer cooler temperatures). spent some time doing long-neglected yardwork, which i'm sure made my neighbors happy, as the grotto was looking quite shabby. i've decided i'm not a very good home owner - i lack basic landscaping ability, i am unable to do anything handy and i abhor housework. it's too late now, of course, but maybe i'm one of those people created to rent, like chris from northern exposure (see "Dateline: Cicely", episode 3.11).
my sleep study was last night. fairly uneventful. couldn't fall asleep, woke up a couple of times in the middle of the night (once with a pillow resting on my chest), couldn't fall back asleep, woke up exhausted. so the doctors should have an accurate account of what most of my nights are like. odd sleeping all wired up, but that wasn't why i couldn't sleep. i just hope they were able to discover something so i'll have a direction to head, even if it turns out not to be physical but mental. glad i did it when i didn't have school - would definitely have been late to classes and not in a good state of mind. i wonder if they'd let me watch the videotape of me sleeping. i often wonder what kind of sleeper i am.
people are screaming outside tonight. and there were rumours of weed in the air. that time of year i suppose.
saw forgetting sarah marshall tonight. good film with funny moments. i could have done without the numerous sex jokes/scenes. not sure why it bothered me when other films like it (40-year-old virgin, knocked up) didn't. part of it was the writing - they seemed forced. funny at times, but they didn't come out of the characters or the story. at least i didn't think they did. and i didn't think the main character deserved either of the girls in the film, so the ending was a bit unsatisfying. but i will say this: paul rudd is a genius. stole every scene he was in.
going to spend the day tomorrow at the warehouse putting in my 5 hours of set work. haven't been able to make any of the other work times and this is the last one. think i'm going to ride my bike - directions make it look doable. of course, odds are i'll get caught in the rain that's supposed to come tomorrow, but maybe i'll get lucky. hard to believe april ends next week and the play starts in two. where oh where does the time go?
interesting conversation going on in blogdom about the church and finances and bivocational pastoring. go here for a place to start and follow the links. it's a topic near to my heart, having heard the call of God to leave full-time ministry almost ten years ago now and still struggling with what that looks like for me. i know i took the right journey, as difficult as it was at times, and while i'm not sure there's an ultimate destination, i am sure God has traveled with me and i am where i'm supposed to be. and in the end, that's all we can ask for. those posting bring up many good points and while i don't agree with all they are saying, it's comforting to hear echoes of the thoughts i've wrestled with.
seriously, the screaming can stop any time.
yesterday i had the opportunity to go as a liaison with the st. elizabeth arts foundation to talk with some norwood students about what they would be interested in doing. just happened to work out that i was off and could go. great conversation, but a little sad. most of them have great disdain toward norwood and cannot wait to move out, claiming the school and the community doesn't care about the arts. and judging from the stories they shared, i don't blame them. but then i remember being the same way in high school - i couldn't wait to get out of ohio. and yet here i am again. i'm not sure we'll get them to stay, but we can at least help make them feel their talents are important and appreciated. it sounds like there could be interest in doing some kind of summer production. a musical might be a bit ambitious right now, but possibly some smaller. or even some shakespeare. will have to see what comes of the debriefing tomorrow.
you know, this would be much easier for my readers if i spread this out over the week instead of waiting until friday night and posting an eternal entry. but didn't feel much like posting this week until now. doing it tonight because of the copious amounts of caffeinated beverage flowing through my body. no sleep for thurman tonight.
was reminded today that sometimes it might be good to be married. this struck me as i was wrestling with my queen-sized mattress, trying to flip it before putting my freshly-washed sheets on it. not an easy thing to do on your own. probably a good thing no one could see me. i felt the bible mocking me - two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: if one falls down, his friend can help him up. but pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!
truer words were never spoken.
did i mention the screaming? it's 11:30, people. geesh. makes me wish i had a tranquilizer gun. or a small concussion grenade.
ok, time to go get my battlestar fix. no promises on when i'll write again. hopefully it won't take another 1/2 a fortnight.
Æ
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Now playing: Josh Ritter - Girl In The War
via FoxyTunes
Friday, April 18, 2008
friday
one of my friends asked me recently if i ever thought about teaching in a christian school and i suppose my initial reaction is i would, but i doubt they'd have me. for one, i'm pricey. secondly, i don't tend to blend well with most christian schools - at least the christian schools i am familiar with - both theologically and politically. i honestly haven't really sought out christian schools, but i suppose if the right circumstances opened up, i wouldn't automatically dismiss it. i do believe christian education has its place, but my experience with it at the high school level has seen more drawbacks than benefits.
so today i took a step that i've talked about for a while but never had the - courage? gumption? to actually act on. i told allen if the opportunity opened up, i would be happy to direct something. so it's out there at least and we'll see what happens. i've hesitated in the past because i respect allen and didn't want him to feel i was trying to encroach on his space. probably all in my head, but still. after i told him, we talked about the construction of the black box theater that's coming in over the next two years, which will allow mason to do even more productions. so who knows. just what i need, yet one more thing to fill my plate with. but it's something i love.
heading up tomorrow to the thurman cafe to meet brent and steve and then meeting possibly others to go visit jeremy's grave. he died a year ago march 29. i purposefully didn't blog about it at the time mostly because i'm not sure i've dealt with it. it seems so distant and unreal even now - it's almost like i have to remind myself he's actually gone and not just out of touch. which seems wrong. i shouldn't have to remind myself, right? i don't know. still. be my second trip up to oakwood (ah the delicious irony of the name). be good to be there with friends again.
after nearly five years of sporadic insomnia, i finally talked to my doctor and he agreed i should have a sleep study done. took a half day on wednesday to visit him and then was able to get in that afternoon to see the clinic and set up the study for next thursday night (we have a "teacher workday" because of the STUGO conference going on next weekend). figure i should see if there is something physical causing my sleeplessness before i look at the mental/lifestyle issues. one of those things you can't figure out living by yourself - i'm too asleep to know if i toss and turn or snore or stop breathing (though i have woken myself up moaning and/or screaming before, which is a bit disconcerting). here's hoping all goes well and i learn at least something.
along with the sleep study, next week is going to be just a bit odd. monday i'm out all day as we finalize how we're going to approach mockingbird. then i'll be in class tuesday and wednesday, then i took a personal day on thursday to give me a good four-day weekend. nothing like a two-day work week, right? of course, trying to figure out what to do with my classes while i'm gone is tricky. tuesday i've got and wednesday too, but monday and thursday are still up in the air. i know where we are in the book, but trying to figure out something my students can do while i'm gone. we'll see.
intermission. lots of people wearing all black running around behind me. i often wonder what they think of me, sitting here, typing away, or, sometimes, just surfing the web. probably something along the lines of "look at that lazy slob sitting there surfing the internet, listening to his ipod. must be nice."
and it is.
cryptic email today from TPTB of beauty and the beast. they had an unscheduled rehearsal wednesday night which i did not go to. it talked about all of the dance and vocal changes made to Gaston, Be Our Guest and the Mob scene. which seems...unlikely? i don't know. he mentioned a handful of names, which makes me wonder if perhaps they were the only ones there on wednesday for the rehearsal - which would suck, of course - and they're having a joke on those of us who didn't show up. i mean, i suppose they could have made changes, but why go through all that just to have to teach it again during our scheduled rehearsal. or maybe i'm just hoping it's a joke so i don't have to learn a bunch of new stuff on sunday. guess i'll find out.
interesting. i just went to the CMT website to get a link for the show and discovered my name is not listed among the ensemble. which lends creedence to my initial suspicion that i was a "late addition" to the cast. not that it matters now...well, not a lot anyway. small bruise to the ego perhaps. i've had far worse. and will have far more.
the fun thing about having all this downtime is i tend to ramble on and on and on and on in my blog post. congratulations for making it this far. feel free to grab a tasty beverage if you need to - i'll still be here typing away.
other things on my mind: been thinking some about what i might like to do with my summer. for the first time since i moved to cincy i have nothing planned - no shows, no schooling, no trips. i suppose i could use the time to fix up things around the house, but i fear that would turn into lots of lying around in my comfy chair or hammock doing nothing which, while appealing, could get old really fast. i've toyed with a couple of road trips - philly/new york, toronto, florida, colorado - but with gas pushing $4 a gallon, it's getting pricey to do that kind of thing. not completely ruled out, but does give me pause. also thought about checking airline flights, but not sure where i'd go. also thought that maybe this summer would be a good time to finally produce my adaptation of Life After God. but i'd need to figure out a schedule and i have no idea if the people i would like to have involved could. first step is probably just to do a call and do a reading of the thing, see who might be interested. not sure when i'd do that, though ideally it should be before the end of the school year.
i don't know. things to think about.
ok, enough of the rambling. i just reread the whole thing and i'm tempted to delete it for lack of any substance. of course, if you're reading this, it means i went ahead and posted it anyway. if all goes well, i should be out of here by 10:30. 11:00 at the latest. two long days in a row (parent teacher conferences and mason's Kiss Me Kate kept me here until almost 10:00 last night). at least i can sleep in tomorrow - don't have to be on the road until 11:00AM. now if i can just sleep through the night....
now playing: "When the foeman bares his steel"
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
utensils are stealing my ideas
in case you were looking for excuses....
a snapshot of how things have been lately: saturday i found myself unable to go anywhere because friday night my garage door jammed six inches from the ground and would not close and when it tried to correct itself and go back up, my automatic opener ripped out of the door. and of course my car was in the garage, so i couldn't get it out. i finally unplugged the thing and using old-fashioned elbow grease, got the door back open. and so far i've been unsuccessful at finding anyone to help me, either with the door or with the opener. guess it's back to ye olden days of (gasp) manually opening my garage. joy.
friday was the third annual mason film festival. we doubled in size as far as films (eight this year) and had nearly five times the audience we've had in the past (over 50). sad moment: i was unable to show one of the submitted films because it did not meet the PG-13 criteria by dropping the f-bomb several times in the first couple of minutes. luckily i found it before i showed it. hated to cut it, but as a school sponsored event, i could not take the chance, especially with all that's been going on in the district lately. but even with that, the films submitted were wonderfully enjoyable. now if we can continue to build on this, i think we'll have something special in the coming years.
so tomorrow i'm only teaching half a day because i have a doctor's appointment. yes, after five years, i am (ooh, wait for it) officially (you know it's coming) tired of my insomnia (ah, i slay me). so i'm going to see if my doctor can recommend a sleep study so i can see if there's something physically wrong with me keeping me from getting a good night's sleep. here's hoping. i have a window of opportunity next week with the special teacher's work day that will allow me to take part. i suppose i could always go during the school week and be late to school, but i'd rather not have to worry about doing anything the next day, knowwhatimean?
heading up to columbus this weekend for our delayed trip to visit jeremy's grave. be good to go up there again. will get my thurman fix, which has been a long time coming. just wish i could stay up there longer - need to come back to cincy that night of our rescheduled MST3K party. so a busy, busy saturday. and if all goes well, i should have no grading to worry about. there's something new.
ok, think i'm going to try and get some sleep. last couple of nights i have been less than successful, unable to fall asleep, waking up exhausted in the middle of the night, only able to get out of bed by sheer force of will. now you see why i'm going to the doctor tomorrow. hope i get some good news.
Æ
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Now playing: Vigilantes Of Love - Baalam's Ass
via FoxyTunes
Wednesday, April 09, 2008
i'm draining phlegm
nothing like a spring cold to suck the words out of you. felt bad enough yesterday that i didn't go to rehearsal (that and i thought it a bad idea to infect the rest of the cast). needed a night to rest, which seemed to work, since i felt better today, though still not completely over it. and i need to be heading to bed so i don't make it worse again. but wanted to stop by and say hey.
we ran the whole show tonight. seems early to be doing so, but then i can't remember my previous experiences, so i don't know if running the show a month out is normal or not. guess it depends on the group. no major trainwrecks - some timing issues with dialogue and the music. i screwed up my scene with belle - couldn't follow the timing in the music. i'm sure i'll get a note about it. at least. oh, and it turns out i'm not a corkscrew after all. i'm an egg beater. also discovered that there was a snafu with the costumes and the corkscrew and the egg beater weren't ordered. so we're making those. maybe i'll get to keep it after its over...though why i would do that i have no idea.
find of the week: went to half price books over in colerain and they had a dvd copy of the original cast production of Into the Woods. i had (possibly still have?) a copy i taped off PBS back in college that i wore out watching. not sure how it ended up at half price books - who gets rid of that kind of thing? - but i'm certainly glad it did. one of my favorite musicals. maybe someday i'll get to be a part of a production. who knows.
there are other things i could share, but wisdom says sleep is more important when you're trying to recover from a cold. need to go take my shot of nyquill and hope it lets me sleep through the night. we'll see if i can't post something else tomorrow after house church - we moved to thursdays to accommodate my B&B schedule. the joys of small church. night.
Æ
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Now playing: October Project - Where You Are
via FoxyTunes
Thursday, April 03, 2008
weekend is almost here
done teaching for the week - tomorrow i get to spend the day at the white house (our curriculum space) working on stuff for sophomore year. don't want to talk about it at the moment and am not sure it would be wise to do so here since so many at school know about this space. though i certainly have some stuff i'd like to sort out - and i even toyed with turning on comments, just to see what people thought of the issue.
intrigued? i shouldn't say more, but know the issue is not uncommon in english education and one i don't think we'll ever get away from. i just hope we do the right thing instead of the expedient thing.
and i've probably said too much already.
heading out tomorrow night with the writer's group from this summer. will probably need the time after tomorrow's adventure. did i say time? i meant alcohol ; ) going somewhere new to me - habits over in oakley. read a couple of reviews. sounds like a decent place. and can't be as crowded as The Pub was last time. i just hope i'm awake. been one of those weeks - not enough sleep, tired most of the time. you'd think i'd learn you can never catch up. you'd think wrong.
B&B rehearsal went well this week. we ran act one for the second time - infinitely better this time around. helps we've had a bit more repetition lately. i know it's the way i learn best. act two is this weekend. need to spend some time practicing with the rehearsal cd (now rehearsal mp3s). i'm fine when we just sing, but not so much when we sing, dance and act. we'll get there. got some of our props this week, which, because we have no where to store them, become the responsibility of the actor. so i have a tray of the ugliest baked goods you've ever seen in the trunk of my car. glad the audience is far away.
other good news: the other corkscrew and i have been added back to part of "be our guest." they needed us to help move some of the set, so we get to come on for the soft shoe portion. glad we paid attention and learned it just in case. so no more whining from me about lack of stage time.
sounds like the play might be over. time to start packing things up so i can get home and grab some sleep before tomorrow. going to need it.
Æ
now playing: phil keaggy - baby blue.
Tuesday, April 01, 2008
birthday shoutouts, part deux
some more well wishers:
via snail mail card:
gina
steve, becky and uly
via phone call:
dad and mom
candice
via text message:
anne
shannon
via email:
sarah
andie
karen
and in her first ever appearance in my email box - my sister, jen. yes she finally broke down after years and got a computer. now i can send her all kinds of annoying forwards...
an excellent birthday. thanks to everyone who helped make it great. now i need to head to bed - christina (my student teacher) is going to a job fair tomorrow, so i have to teach all of my bells. whatever shall i do...?
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Now playing: Weird Al Yankovic - White & Nerdy
via FoxyTunes
you say it's your birthday?
no great epiphanies on entering my 39th year of existence. 38 down, only God knows how many to go. we'll see what happens.
headed to dewey's to get my free pint glass tonight, then to graeter's for my free ice cream and then to rehearsal for...well, lots of standing around i think. but before i head off to paint the town a hazy shade of rouge, i wanted to send a shout out to all those who took the time to remember me on my special day - well, special except for the 18 million or so people that share my birthday with me (yes, i was geeky enough to look it up - 17,995,207. give or take a few thousand).
via my surprise party back in march:
bethany and andy
brent
steve and angela
nikki
mike and andrea (via phone)
via actual snail mail cards:
jenna
andy
ruthie
bea
jay
best buy
via email:
shannon
kat
sam
brian
ang
rhonda
robin
john
city barbeque
if you haven't sent your wishes yet, you still have eight hours or so to do so.
does that sound desperate?
ok, off to suck the marrow out of my birthday. more after rehearsal if i'm not too drunk to type (i kid, i kid).
Æ
ps how appropriate that this is the song playing for me today...
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Now playing: Adam Ant - Goodie Two Shoes
via FoxyTunes
Saturday, March 29, 2008
another beautiful day spent in the hole
hard to believe break is over already. did what i was supposed to do - relax - but still feels as if i should have *done* more. gone places. visited people. been productive. perhaps relaxing is what i needed to do most.
finished off wonderfalls this morning. they did a good job of wrapping up the loose ends, which helped. good to see jewel staite again, though hard to accept her as an evil, cheating ho. she's just too darn cute for that. she'll always be kaylee in my heart. i can see why wonderfalls didn't last - another show too quirky for its own good. but glad i got to experience the characters for thirteen episodes anyway. i'll take that over years and years of dreck like everyone loves raymond anyday.
really need to stop eating food that leaves me queasy. far too much of that this weekend. probably should carve out some time tomorrow to go grocery shopping so i have something to eat other than the fast food i've been living on this week. funny how during lent i had little difficulty not eating for hours at a time, but now that it's over, i can't even keep a promise to myself not to eat lunch for a day. odd.
had hoped to spend a little time this afternoon practicing the chorus numbers for tomorrow's rehearsal. but alas, the cd i have doesn't play on any of the cd players i own, not even my computers. not sure why not, but i can't even access the files that are there. must have been made on a vista machine. or perhaps some mac. who knows. going to make dance rehearsal tomorrow interesting since we're supposed to be off book. guess i could spend the time learning the lyrics at least.
jake speed show tonight at 9:00. should have time to get there after MCP are finished with the set building. i'm hoping they pull out early, but i get there feeling they'll be here for the duration. good for my pocketbook, not good for my state of mind. of course, i may talk myself out of going - have the fear it will be very crowded in a very little space. will have to see how i feel in four hours or so. not sure what i'll do if i decide not to go. probably nothing. could go to the bird and see kim nixon perform, but it has the same drawbacks that going to arnolds has.
be so much easier if i actually liked people.
seems most of my week was spent shopping at half price books. my purchases:
Cyrano de Bergerac (Signet Classic)
Secrets in the Dark: A Life in Sermons (Buechner)
The Beatrice Letters (A Series of Unfortunate Events) (Snicket)
The Eyre Affair: A Thursday Next Novel (Fforde)
Thursday Next: First Among Sequels (Fforde)
Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs: A Low Culture Manifesto
Dream Theater - Live at Budokan
and hopefully tomorrow i'll pick up (with a 50% off coupon)
The Personal Best of Monty Python's Flying Circus
ah, the joys of consumption. i also picked up Through a Screen Darkly by Jeffrey Overstreet. found it for 75% off at cokesbury. enjoying it so far. i became aware of jeff through my association with OTR mailing list. or was it the DADL? i can't remember now.
this is long enough. more later perhaps - thought about doing a posting in honor of jeremy's passing. we'll see. you are missed, my friend.
Æ
Thursday, March 27, 2008
rainy lazy days make me malaisey
laaaaaazzzzeeeeee to day. i mean, i did stuff, but little productive, unless you count finding buechner's secrets in the dark productive, which i guess i do. spent the early part of the morning meeting with kevin then hanging out at the speckled bird, putting some ordination stuff together. yes, believe it or not, i'm still looking into it. one of the reasons i wanted to talk to kevin. the pastoral council has been going through transition, which explains part of the delay. kevin suggested typing up my story, which i did. hopefully my email got through - my last one didn't make it far enough. good to talk to kevin, get a little perspective, a little better grasp on the swirling chaos in my head.
so break is over tomorrow, if we don't count the weekend. and as i just signed up to do a shift at the auditorium on saturday, it really is over after tomorrow. guess i'm glad i didn't make plans to head up to columbus like i toyed with. and i think it will allow me to do what i had hoped to do on saturday, which is go to the jake speed and the freddies red's opening day concert at arnolds. i'm supposed to be done at the auditorium at 8:00, which should give me time to get down to the show. never been to arnolds, though, so i'm a bit concerned it might be packed. but i'm willing to give it a shot.
speaking of concerts, went to the pomegranates show at the southgate house last night. another great performance. such joy and energy. last show for a while in the cincy area, so glad i was able to get my fix in. sadly the seedy seeds were not there - instead it was a band from dayton. i wasn't too impressed - music was uninteresting and lacked any sense of melody (though many in the crowd did not agree with my take). didn't help that the lead singer was openly hostile toward the venue and the audience. did nothing to endear them to me even if they are from my home town.
finally chatting with my friend kat - we've been missing each other for months. having a good time catching up - enough that i'm going to stop this now.
Æ
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Now playing: King's X - Lover
via FoxyTunes
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
attempting to be social
spent the afternoon at aveda getting my haircut and the other various amenities that come with it. had the same stylist as last time, which was great since i really like my haircut from last time. i always assume they can just look at the last cut and match it, but i guess it doesn't always work that way. i ought to have them write it down so i know what to say when i go in. but alas, i never do that. always seems like a bad idea for some reason. silly, i know.
haven't really done enough relaxing so far this break. part of that is because i had things planned for the last couple of days. i am hoping tomorrow is a little looser. i have the pomegranates show to go to tomorrow night, but other than that, nothing. i probably ought to start by going to bed earlier so i'm not so tired when i get up. but that would take discipline and it's not something i want to be practicing on my break.
so what does the end of my break look like? i've toyed with several different ideas, but nothing is calling to me at the moment. of course, when it costs $40 to fill your tank, it makes you a bit reticent to go anywhere. i should try to take advantage of the weekend to head up to columbus, but i haven't talked to anyone up there and who knows if anyone is around. procrastination, thy name is thurman.
i think we might have figured out the whole house church vs beauty and the beast showdown. gina's going to check with the havens and see if they can move their dinner to wednesday night. so i might not have to miss hc after all. which is good. finally chose a study to use as we look into i corinthians. glad i'll get to be there for it - lots of good stuff in there.
ok, the time swiftly passes and if i hope to actually try and go to bed before 1:30AM for once, i need to head toward sleep. night.
Æ
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Now playing: Ol' Dirty Bastard - Shimmy Shimmy Ya
via FoxyTunes
Monday, March 24, 2008
joy unleashed
ran into a couple of my former students there - paul and jayme. this happens occasionally when i go to shows, especially the pomegranates given their large under 21 following. i sometimes wonder what they think of seeing me there, if they think that's cool or if it makes me seem desperate to hang onto my youth. doesn't ultimately matter, but i can't imagine how i would have reacted in high school if i'd seen any of my teachers at a concert.
as for this concert, it was fantastic. i stayed toward the back for the first band, the read. they're good, though not my favorite genre of music. their bassist is amazing, but most of the songs fell into a similar vein. but i moved toward the front once the seedy seeds came on. they put on their typical energetic set and the crowd loved them. definitely primed the pump for pomegranates. then as the clock move close to 1:00AM, pomegranates took the stage. this was one of the first times i saw them toward the front of the crowd. completely different experience. if i could boil down their appeal, it would come down to joy. joy in the way they perform, joy in the attitude of the audience. it's such a rare commodity in today's music and one that is difficult to capture honestly. they do it with amazing ease. it was a great way to start celebrating Easter, surrounded by a delirious crowd singing and dancing with joy. i've said it before and i'll continue to say it: these young men deserve to bring their brand of joy to a huge audience. i only hope the music industry can pull itself away from persecuting fans and looking for the next bland new thing to let them.
so break is already beginning to slip away. met the 'rents at ikea - they called around eleven and said it wasn't terribly crowded. by the time i got there around noon, the exit was backed up onto the highway and i had to park in mason and walk to the entrance (ooh, that might be exaggerating again). we ate lunch there and then i looked at their beds. looks like to get what i need it's going to cost me close to $300, but that's cheaper than most of the other options i've looked at. still not ready to pull the trigger, but this seems like a good use of my tax return after paying off a couple of credit cards.
ok, time to catch up on a little tv and head to bed. here's hoping someone's at prayers tomorrow so we can get into st. e's. night.
Æ
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Now playing: Pomegranates - In The Kitchen
via FoxyTunes
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Christ is risen
easter has arrived, which means i don't have to blog if i don't want to anymore.
i kid, i kid.
missed two days total - not bad all things considered. now we'll see if i can continue being consistent beyond lent.
much to share, but not feeling it at the moment. i will say i had a marvelous easter - my parents came down for the day and the celebration at st. e's was wonderful and dinner at the cheesecake factory was scrumptious and i finally saw enchanted, which made me fall in love with amy adams even more and then i talked myself out of going to the stephen malkmus show, mostly because i wouldn't have known many of the songs and i'd rather spend $15 on a cd than on a show. and i ripped a bunch of brian's mix cds to my ipod, which makes me happy, along with the new pomegranates cd and the seedy seeds cd. so yeah, a great easter.
more tomorrow. may be meeting the 'rents at ikea before i head over to mason for paula's going away bash and then back to norwood for dance rehearsal. am thinking i should use some of my tax money for a real bed frame and headboard. we'll see if they have anything. will probably check big lots as well. haven't thought about the rest of the week yet. probably ought to do that.
looking forward to prayers in the morning. later.
Æ
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Now playing: Pomegranates - Late Night Television
via FoxyTunes
Saturday, March 22, 2008
the stairs less traveled
steve came prepared with several rosary and a pamphlet of how to say the rosary, which came in quite handy for us non-catholics. we exited on martin avenue and found stairs leading up toward the top of mt. adams. we opted for the 356 step route - no pansy climb for us. we were surprised to be the only ones there, but figured most other pilgrims had chosen the shorter climb. neophytes to the whole experience, we were unsure of what exactly to do. we rotated between repeating out loud hail marys and glory bes with a sprinkling of our fathers every now and then as we climbed one step at a time. as others joined us on the stairs, i began to worry we weren't doing it right, that our pseudo-catholicism would be evident to real catholics. but those fears soon faded away as i got into the spirit of our journey.
and then we reached the top of the stairs. and there was not a church in sight. we walked down the street, thinking the stairs must pick up somewhere down the road a bit. but as we closed on the next intersection, it became obvious that we had not in fact been climbing the parish steps, but some random set of stairs set in the side of the hill. realizing our mistake, and fearing the wrath of the poor pilgirms who had followed in our mistaken footsteps, we ducked around a corner and ran into a resident who walked us up to the church. from there we could see where we were meant to walk up, stairs filled with penitent pilgrims drawing step by step closer to the church. would have been quite the throng to be a part of had we actually started in the right place.
of course, none of this stopped us from participating in the donuts and coffee at the top (well, not steve and kevin anyway - i was still fasting). we sat and talked about the experience and had a laugh over our miscalculations - and hoped those who had joined behind us weren't upset enough to come and find us in the parish hall. we discussed a bit the metaphorical significance of our journey, how the good catholics climbed one set of stairs while we confused protestants climbed another and yet we both arrived at the same destination. not sure it holds up under scrutiny, but something interesting to think about.
getting ready to head over to st. e's to walk through via crucis once more before heading out to dinner...somewhere. still haven't made up my mind yet what i want. last day i'll have to wait. been good discipline but am looking forward to being able to eat when i'm hungry again. not sure about the other lenten sacrifices i made; i know i'll eat chocolate again, but not sure about the fries or the carbonated beverages. i'm sure it's healthier not eating them, but not sure i care enough to continue to give them up. but glad to know i can go without them if necessary. i just hope it's never necessary.
pomegranates cd release show is tonight at the gypsy hut. says 10:00 on the website, but not sure if that's when the doors open or if it's when the show will start. should have time to figure all that out before i head out. still need to do a little cleaning before the 'rents arrive tomorrow, but nothing too stressful.
got my tax return info back today. looks like i should be able to pay off a couple of credit cards and still have some left over. will have to see how best to spend it. a new bed frame maybe? we'll see.
happy holy saturday. sunday's comin'...
Æ
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Now playing: Johnny Cash - Just As I Am
via FoxyTunes
Friday, March 21, 2008
good friday
one theme resonated last night as i walked from station to station - how even in the midst of suffering, Christ had compassion for those around him. trying to keep the disciples awake. allowing judas to embrace Him. healing the soldier's ear. keeping silent when accused. encouraging the women on the way. the thief on the cross. mary and john. the whole human race. i know how hard it is for me to even think about others when i'm struggling with my own pain. but if we truly seek to walk where Christ has walked, then we must look through our own tear-blurred eyes and see the pain on the faces around us. we must reach out with our mangled hands to help those who have lost their grip. we must walk on broken feet to those that have fallen and cannot stand. we must open out our broken hearts to those whose hearts are breaking.
Christ's incarnation allowed Him to experience as we experience, to identify with our suffering so He could help us in our pain. and sometimes it is those moments of greatest pain that allow us to connect with others. i am reminded of the lost dogs song "blessing in disguise:"
How often do we spot the angels?
Or feel the unseen hand?
Most times are tough, the going rough
Like there never was a master plan
Those steadfast doors won't open
And you pray...but you don't understand
Hold fast the hope that's in you
Don't always trust your eyes
Sometimes it takes a long time to see it as
A Blessing in Disguise
We live upon this dark surface
And God, He moves upon the deep
What is concealed will be revealed
There is no promise He won't keep
Still, we're confused by the shadows
We're awake, but we're half asleep
Sometimes the dark can move our hearts
To long for the light of the Son
And our ways don't become His ways
Until we are undone
And after you've been broken
You may not realize
That you are grace to the broken hearted
And a blessing in...
A blessing in...
You are a Blessing in Disguise
not only do our darkest moments turn out to be significant later on, but our darkness can become light to someone else.
one of the stations had a confessional, where you could call a number and leave your confession. these are recorded and then played back for people as they sat in the confessional. a powerful reminder we all are struggling, that what may appear to be indifference and selfishness may be because we are all dealing with our own crises, our own personal pain. the poem below by denver butson paints a vivid picture of this difficulty:
Tuesday 9:00 AMsimon of cyrene, minding his own business during the passover, was asked to carry Christ's cross for Him. we are to do the same for those around us. Father, give us strength.A man standing at the bus stop
reading the newspaper is on fire
Flames are peeking out
from beneath his collar and cuffs
His shoes have begun to meltThe woman next to him
wants to mention it to him
that he is burning
but she is drowning
Water is everywhere
in her mouth and ears
in her eyes
A stream of water runs
steadily from her blouseAnother woman stands at the bus stop
freezing to death
She tries to stand near the man
who is on fire
to try to melt the icicles
that have formed on her eyelashes
and on her nostrils
to stop her teeth long enough
from chattering to say something
to the woman who is drowning
but the woman who is freezing to death
has trouble moving
with blocks of ice on her feetIt takes the three some time
to board the bus
what with the flames
and water and ice
But when they finally climb the stairs
and take their seats
the driver doesn't even notice
that none of them has paid
because he is tortured
by visions and is wondering
if the man who got off at the last stop
was really being mauled to death
by wild dogs.
Æ
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Now playing: Aaron Copland - Appalachain Spring - Fast
via FoxyTunes
Thursday, March 20, 2008
a beginning
i'm currently sitting in the speckled bird, across from st. e's, enjoying some apple pie and a strawberry steamer. finally made it over to walk through via crucis. still processing most of it. will definitely go through at least once more, maybe multiple times. need to remember my journal to jot down thoughts as i go through. will be there tomorrow night for a couple of hours at the end of the night as a docent. looking forward to being in that holy space on good friday.
supposed to hike with steve and kevin tomorrow after morning prayers. hopefully steve is feeling better and that kevin is feeling up for it. i need some nature therapy; need to find solace in the beauty of the world around me. been toying with asking kevin if i could steal down to the land and spend a couple days camping there this coming week. i'm free after tuesday, so could try and take a trip somewhere, but i think it would be wiser to conserve my funds for now. there's something to be said for just lying around a bit and relaxing. and sleeping in. though there are definitely plenty of activities around the house i could work on, like figuring out why the water softener doesn't seem to be working or trying to get my garage door to work again or stalking the dog that keeps coming into my yard to leave me unwanted gifts. actually saw her today and of course she doesn't have a collar. tempted to call animal services and have them take care of her. does that sound heartless? perhaps. but then it's not your yard being filled with feces.
got a call from brent today - turns out he has a detached retina and is confined to bed rest for two weeks. ouch. means we'll have to delay our visit to jeremy's grave until he is able to join us. hard to believe it's been a year already.
i'm the only one here at the bird right now, other than the baristas. fairly peaceful. ironically, i came here because i was feeling a bit isolated spending all that time in my house.
ok, probably should wrap it up, head back to my house to watch a little tv before heading off to bed. be so nice not to have to wake up tomorrow at 5AM. here's hoping i don't end up staying up until 3 and missing my chance to sleep longer than normal. night.
Æ
Now playing: Elvis Costello - When I Was Cruel
via FoxyTunes
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
one day more
my friend angela wrote this for @U2. hard to believe it was two years ago.
anyone know where i could pick up some gopher wood? and just how big is a cubit anyway?
the piano has arrived. here's a pic from its old place of residence:
am hoping once everything is over tomorrow that i will be able to get the chance to walk through via crucis. thought about going the last couple of nights, but didn't. i'm a docent friday night, but want to go through on my own. so tonight might be it, unless i sneak in friday or saturday during the day. might not be a bad idea - see it both at night and during the day.
still need to find someplace to go for easter meal. mom and dad are coming down and i need to take them somewhere. no idea what will be open. can't remember if easter is a day restaurants shut down or not.
bed. night.
Æ
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Now playing: Big Star - Back of a Car
via FoxyTunes
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
on the night he was betrayed
When it was evening, he took his place with the twelve; and while they were eating, he said, "Truly I tell you, one of you will betray me." And they became greatly distressed and began to say to him one after another, "Surely not I, Lord?" He answered, "The one who has dipped his hand into the bowl with me will betray me. The Son of Man goes as it is written of him, but woe to that one by whom the Son of Man is betrayed! It would have been better for that one not to have been born." Judas, who betrayed him, said, "Surely not I, Rabbi?" He replied, "You have said so."
While they were eating, Jesus took a loaf of bread, and after blessing it he broke it, gave it to the disciples, and said, "Take, eat; this is my body." Then he took a cup, and after giving thanks he gave it to them, saying, "Drink from it, all of you; for this is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins. I tell you, I will never again drink of this fruit of the vine until that day when I drink it new with you in my Father's kingdom."
"Drink from it, all of you..." all of you. including the one who sold Him out for 30 pieces of silver. including the one who would deny Him three times before the cock crowed. including all who scattered when their Lord was lifted up.
i know there are communities who feel that the Eucharist is a holy moment reserved for only those of their community, who have proved themselves faithful, who take this sacrament seriously. but how can you deny that Christ Himself offered His body and blood to His betrayer? could it not be, just like it was in the garden, that He knew the path that lie ahead, but still had hope that the cup would be removed, that Judas would offer up his heart instead of a kiss? is that not the hope we all live in as we step forward to take these elements that point us to Christ's sacrifice we celebrate this week?
Æ
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Now playing: U2 - Luminous Times (Hold On To Love)
via FoxyTunes
Monday, March 17, 2008
the prayer of st. patrick (excerpts)
I arise today
Through the strength of heaven:
Light of sun,
Radiance of moon,
Splendor of fire,
Speed of lightning,
Swiftness of wind,
Depth of sea,
Stability of earth,
Firmness of rock.
Through God's strength to pilot me:
God's might to uphold me,
God's wisdom to guide me,
God's eye to look before me,
God's ear to hear me,
God's word to speak for me,
God's hand to guard me,
God's way to lie before me,
God's shield to protect me,
God's host to save me
From snares of devils,
From temptations of vices,
From everyone who shall wish me ill,
Afar and anear,
Alone and in multitude.
Against poison, against burning,
Against drowning, against wounding,
So that there may come to me abundance of reward.
Christ with me, Christ before me, Christ behind me,
Christ in me, Christ beneath me, Christ above me,
Christ on my right, Christ on my left,
Christ when I lie down, Christ when I sit down, Christ when I arise,
Christ in the heart of every man who thinks of me,
Christ in the mouth of everyone who speaks of me,
Christ in every eye that sees me,
Christ in every ear that hears me.
good stuff this st. patrick's day. wish i had had this prayer with me at many points today. more exhausting then i anticipated for reasons unforeseen. i have much to think about, to pray about, to try to make sense of. might talk more of it later if i can.
i realize there hasn't been much of mine own since saturday. hopefully tomorrow i'll have more time to share more. must to bed now. good night.
Æ
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Now playing: U2 - So Cruel
via FoxyTunes
Sunday, March 16, 2008
via crucis: immersion

http://www.viacrucisimmersion.com/
Via Crucis :: Immersion is the stations of the cross remixed. It is an experiential worship event merging art, media, and music that brings us into the story. A journey into the heart of God and the story’s reality in us. It is an immersion into the suffering of Jesus and a discovery of our own brokenness.
St. Elizabeth's 1759 Mills Ave. Norwood OH 45212
i recommend everyone come to this. amazing tonight. isaac from pomegranates wrote a 14 movement piece that walked us through the 14 stations. described as "violently beautiful," it surely lived up to that. words are inadequate to describe the experience. it runs all week and is the type of thing you can drop in and spend as much or as little time as you want. during this most holy of weeks, see if you can steal a couple of moments to join us.
more tomorrow. must to bed so i'm well rested for teaching and academic team banquet and dance rehearsal and...wow, i'm already exhausted by tomorrow and it hasn't even started.
Æ
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Now playing: Resurrection Band - My Jesus Is All (Live)
via FoxyTunes