I attended mass today and found myself torn. I am confident I could take the elements and not violate God’s holiness. And yet, as a visitor, not recognized by the Catholic church, I simply folded my arms and received a blessing. I understand the theology and appreciate the sanctity of the Eucharist for Catholics. But I couldn’t help feeling less than, excluded, unworthy. I, too, wanted to come to the table, to take in remembrance, to take of the Body and Blood. And who are they to proclaim me unfit, not a true member of the Body of Christ?
I refrained out of respect for their beliefs, but at what cost? I seek only to be united with Christ, to experience Him, to have his grace focused on me. And while the blessing was appreciated, I missed the Meal.
Strangely enough, one of the prayer cards available at their welcome center had these words from Merton:
“We will never fully appreciate the Real Presence of Christ in the Eucharist until we see the ultimate connection that exists between the mystery of the Holy Eucharist and the mystery of the Church, the Body of Christ.”
I’ll have to ponder this mystery some more. Æ
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